This is not the end

Okay guys....this post is honest, open, and really hard to write. The past 3ish weeks have been crazy, and have felt more like a couple months. When I wrote my last post about Christmas,  I knew this would be the next one.

As I begin jotting things down for this, I am sitting on an airplane somewhere over central America and Little L. Is fast asleep in my arms. It is her second birthday....she turned two while sleeping on my lap. So many thoughts about that  (mainly, where has my baby gone?)...but not today. 

On December 26, my mom told me that my paternal grandmother, Nana, was in the hospital. She had some infections, a blockage in her throat making it impossible to swallow anything solid, and a few other complications. My parents and youngest brother went to see her immediately. She chose not to have any treatment, understanding that it meant her days were very limited. In the next couple days, my two other brothers flew out from Alaska to see her. Meanwhile I was extremely upset, at home in Brazil. 

Nana is 99 years old. Logically we all knew that this day had to come. I kept telling myself that as I fell apart. It didn't help. Nothing can truly prepare you for the death of someone you love. My knowledge of and faith in the gospel of Jesus Christ, knowing that my family can be eternal, help soften the blow. But the pain is still there, and it is real.

I sat at home not knowing what to do.  I cried and Little L. tried comforting me with her perfect little hugs and kisses, not understanding at all what was going on.  Husband just let me cry on his shoulder, while internally agonizing over the fact that I was far from my family in this critical moment.  Just out of curiosity, my youngest brother and I began looking at flights from here to NY.  It was all much too expensive...unless I wanted a 40-hour trip through Mexico to get there.  By myself, I'd do it.  But I had Little L. to think about too.  

To make a long story short, over the next few days we had tons of ups and downs.  It finally looked do-able.  Then suddenly the reasonable flight disappeared.  Then the card didn't work when we finally got another good one.  There were so many miracles in such a short few days...and angels.  We truly have angels in our lives, disguised as our friends.  We were finally able to get a relatively inexpensive flight, one that was only 18 hours from start to finish, only one layover.  We would leave here December 31, and stay there until January 12.  The flight back would be insanely long, but I'd deal with that when the time came. 

I cancelled the rest of my classes for the last couple days of the week, and tried to pull myself together.  Just knowing that we'd be going to see my side of the family was HUGE for me.  I don't know why it calmed me down so much; it didn't change the situation.  Nana was still on a liquids-only diet.

She arrived home from the hospital a couple days before Little L. and I arrived on the scene.  By the time we got there, my two brothers were back in Alaska, but the youngest was still there.  He and Little L. have a special bond, so I was glad we'd get a few days with him at least.  He and my parents met us at the airport early on January 1.  Our 2018 had begun on the airplane in São Paulo, before takeoff. 

It was WONDERFUL to see my family again.  And Nana looked so much better than I had been expecting.  Little L. warmed up right away to everyone, and it was adorable to see the special care she took with Nana.  She's a small child, but she had to have some notion of what was going on, because she was so kind and gentle with Nana, playing by her side, holding her hand, etc.  Little L. also absolutely LOVED the snow!

We spent the next 11 days mostly in NY.  We spent the weekend at my parents' house, which was nice.  I got to see my childhood best friend again, and her daughter and Little L. played together as if they hadn't been apart for several months. 

Those 11 days were crazy.  So many emotions in such a short time.  I held myself together surprisingly well.  I think seeing Nana better than I expected helped.  I know the inevitable will come, but at least for a few days, life was back to normal- Nana was okay.  

I think what was hardest on me was seeing Nana get weaker.  Some days she was in exceptionally good condition, but other days she seemed exceptionally weak.  I told her so one day, that she seemed to be doing really well.  She told me it was because Little L. and my parents and I had come back from their house, and were with her again.  The next day my parents went home, and I would be leaving the following day- that was her worst day while I was there.  She was very weak, didn't want to eat/drink too much, and seemed very sad.  That was January 11.

That night, I got the last of my things together for the trip back to Brazil, and then I had to say goodbye to Nana.  I hadn't thought much about that moment.  I saw my youngest brother cry when he said goodbye (he wasn't sticking around New England, he was off on his next adventure), but I hadn't thought about my turn.

It's a moment I don't think I'll ever forget.  It was around 10pm, and Little L. was still awake- she wouldn't go to sleep without me that night.  So we went into the living room and talked with Nana a little.  Little L. hugged her and kissed her and kept saying "I love you, Banana [her name for Nana]".  It was really too bad Nana couldn't hear her.  I went to hug Nana and tell her I love her, and that was the moment I just about lost it.  I started crying, and then tried to hide it, but obviously I couldn't.  And Nana just held onto me like there was no tomorrow. She said some beautiful things to me.

This picture spans 4 generations of Ogdens....it is a treasure!

I think I came back to Brazil half in a daze.  It was a long trip,  but Little L. was an angel on the trip again, which was a huge blessing.  It all still seems so unreal.  I know what's going to happen; I know this was probably the last time I was going to see Nana in this mortal life.  I guess this happened with my great-grandmother, Oma, too.  She passed away when I was 16 years old, and I have subconsciously blocked out the last bit of her life.  I remember when she started to go downhill, and then my memories jump to seeing her early in the day, the day she died.  Mom tells me I was pretty upset about that too, which is probably why I don't remember much.  

And now...I have memories.  Wonderful, sweet, fantastic, amazing memories.  And an eternal future to look forward to.  I am so grateful for the angels in my life who made this trip possible.  One of those angels is my Husband, who wasn't okay until I was on the airplane going to see my family.  I am grateful for Little L. being able to see her great-grandparents again.  Although the circumstances for the trip were less than ideal, I was grateful to see part of my USA family again.  I didn't realize how much I had been needing to see them.

I feel like I have just been word-vomiting here, and I don't know how much I was able to adequately get across.  I'm not even sure why I felt like I needed to write this post.  All I know is I don't have words to describe my feelings and thoughts over the past few weeks.  I hope I've been able to express a fraction of my mind to you!

Nana is a great woman, one of the greatest I know, and deserves to have the world know her greatness.  She is leaving a legacy in her family.

Also, we celebrated Little L.'s birthday a few days early with her grandparents and great-grandparents

So this is Christmas...2017

Christmas this year was different than expected, but enjoyable nonetheless.  It was a long weekend of family, friends, laughter and missed bedtimes. 

O natal este ano foi diferente que eu esperava, mas foi ótimo mesmo assim.  Foi um final da semana longo, cheio de família, amigos, risada, e noites que Little L. dormiu tarde demais.

In our house, we mix our two cultures as much as we can.  The bulk of Christmas here in Brazil in on December 24.  And in the States it is on December 25.  So we celebrate two days of Christmas around here!  Christmas Eve was an odd Sunday, actually.  We only had a little over an hour of church, and then came home and spent the rest of the day getting things ready for the family dinner.  We had it at our house this year, which was a LOT of fun.  Husband's siblings and parents came over with their families, and we spent a few hours in each other's company before everyone went to their in-laws' houses for Dinner Round Two.  The kids all played miraculously well together, and Husband and his family were all in tears of laughter for a good chunk of the night!  I had thought it was going to be a little more stressful and less relaxing, but it ended up being just....awesome.

Em nossa casa, temos uma mistura legal de 2 culturas.  A maioria do Natal aqui no Brasil é no dia 24 de dezembro.  E nos EUA, é no dia 25.  Então, nós comemoramos 2 dias de Natal aqui!  Dia 24 foi um domingo estranho, na verdade.  Tivemos apenas uma hora de igreja, e viemos para casa e passamos o resto do dia preparando para a ceia de Natal em família.  Este ano, tivemos a ceia da família aqui em casa, que foi MUITO divertido!  Os irmãos e pais de Husband vieram aqui com suas famílias, e passamos algumas horas juntos antes que saíram para as outras famílias para Ceia Round 2.  As crianças brincaram bem juntos, e Husband e sua família estavam todos chorando de tanto rir juntos!  Eu tinha pensado que seria mais estressante e menos relaxante, mas acabou sendo apenas....ótimo!

Christmas Day was going to be a day spent as a family, and then we were going to have Family Home Evening with some friends.  Christmas Eve, Husband got called into work for Christmas day.  Let me explain....with his job, he works a chunk of time, and then gets another chunk off (I can't write more details than that, sorry it's vague!).  He has been looking for a second job for a while, one that would work with his schedule.  He finally got one a few days before Christmas, and was called in for the first time on Christmas.  That's why he couldn't say no, because it was an answer to a lot of prayers, and we didn't want him to lose this opportunity.

Íamos passar o dia 25 juntos (eu, Husband, e Little L.), e depois íamos ter Noite Familiar com alguns amigos.  Na véspera de Natal, Husband foi escalado para trabalhar no dia 25.  Vou explicar...Com o emprego dele, ele trabalha um tempo, e depois folga um tempo (não posso entrar em mais detalhes, perdoem-me!).  Ele tem procurando um segundo emprego por um tempinho, um que daria com a escala dele.  Ele finalmente conseguiu, alguns dias antes de Natal, e foi escalado pela primeira vez no Natal.  Por isso ele não podia recusar, porque foi uma resposta a muitas orações, e não queríamos perder essa oportunidade.

So how was Christmas Day actually spent?  Well, we got up at 5:30 as always....No matter what time she goes to bed, Little L. ALWAYS wakes up at the same time.  It's kind of frustrating, actually, because then she is grumpy for days.  Anyway, in this case, it was good.  Husband didn't have to be at work until 7, so he got to see her open her presents.  That was so much fun!!!!  She was so excited!  She just got a few simple things, and a plastic tricycle, but she was over the moon.  I'm pretty sure that she'd sleep with her trike if she could!  The rest of the day....well, if I'm being honest, it was just another day.  I cleaned the house.  Tried to get Little L. into bed early, but that turned into a small disaster.

No fim das contas, como passamos dia 25? Acordamos e levantamos às 5:30, como sempre....Não importa o horário que ela dorme, Little L. SEMPRE acorda no mesmo horário.  É chato, na verdade, porque depois, ela fica irritada durante alguns dias.  Mas nesse caso, foi bom.  Husband não precisava estar no trabalho até as 7h, então ele estava aqui para ver ela abrir os presentes.   Nossa, isso foi divertido demais!!! Ela ficou tão animada!  Ela ganhou alguns brinquedos simples, e também um velotró, mas ela achou que tinha ganhado a loteria! Acho que se pudesse, ela dormiria com seu velotró!  O resto do dia....bem, se estou sendo sincera, foi apenas mais um dia.  Limpei a casa.  Tentei colocar Little L. para dormir cedo, mas isso acabou sendo um pequeno desastre.

And now Husband is at work again for another several days.  He picked up some extra shifts over New Years, which is also a blessing.  Unfortunately, it means that an exhausted me is here alone with an overtired Little L. for several days.  When I say unfortunately, I mean that I am not good at hiding my grumpiness, which makes for a difficult situation.  What amazes me every time I hear Little L. say "I love you" or "I sowwy Mommy" or hug me or anything else she does to show she loves me....what amazes me is that she CAN still love me even with all my imperfections, short temper, etc.  Anyway, another post for another time.

E agora, Husband voltou a trabalhar mais alguns dias.  Ele pegou  mais serviço no Ano Novo, que também é uma bênção.  Infelizmente, significa que uma EU exausta estou aqui sozinha com uma Little L. exausta por alguns dias.  Quando digo "infelizmente", quero dizer que não sou boa em esconder quando não estou me sentindo bem, que dá numa situação difícil.  O que me impressiona cada vez que escuto Little L. dizer "Eu te amo" ou "desculpa Mommy" ou me abraçar ou qualquer coisa que ela faz para mostrar que me ama....o que me impressiona é que ela CONSEGUE me amar mesmo com todas as minhas imperfeições, impaciência, etc.  Em fim, uma outra post para um outro dia. 

Now I'm just trying to get back to a normal routine for the next few days before Little L. loses another TON of sleep over New Years again.  I like Christmas and all, but I can't wait til January when life goes back to normal...

Agora estou apenas tentando reestabelecer a rotina normal nos próximos dias, antes de Little L. perder mais um monte de sono no Ano Novo.  Eu gosto de Natal e todas as festas e tudo, mas não vejo a hora de janeiro chegar, quando a vida volta a normal...

Thanksgiving update!

Hello everyone!  I hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving yesterday.  I certainly did!  The day was so jam-packed busy, I don't even know where to start!  Well, I'm sure you probably don't want to read all the details about cleaning my house and washing a million dishes, but I'll cover the highlights!

We set up our Christmas tree, and Little L. was BESIDE HERSELF excited!  She kept going "wowwwww!!!!!" and she got all the ornaments out of the box, arranged them and sorted them on the floor, and then was beyond thrilled to help put them on the tree.  She found a train one, and it has yet to go on the tree....she keeps driving it around the floor going "choo choo!"

Olá gente!  Espero que todos tiveram um feliz Ação de Graças ontem.  Eu tive!  O dia foi tão cheio e corrido que nem sei onde começar!  Bem, acho que vocês não gostariam de ler todos os detalhes de como limpei a casa e lavei um milhão de louças, mas falarei das melhores partes!

Montamos nossa árvore de Natal, e Little L. estava TÃO animada!  Ela ficou olhando, apontando, e dizendo "uauuuu!!!!!" e ela tirou todos or ornamentos da caixa e organizou eles no chão, e depois ficou mais animada ainda que ela podia ajudar a colocá-los na árvore.  Ela achou um ornamento de um trenzinho, e até agora não foi parar na árvore....ela fica brincando com ele no chão dizendo "choo choo!"

 The afternoon was spent cooking (we didn't have dinner until around 7pm) and rearranging the house.  We took our couch out and put it on our front porch, shoved our table up against the wall, and opened up the whole space to be able to shove together a few plastic tables, which would be our big Thanksgiving table.  The turkey took almost twice as long as it was supposed to, so we ended up running a little late with dinner.  It worked out okay; we played some games until it was dinner time.  The people who came were enthralled with Little L., and she loved all the attention.  She spent the whole time showing off the Christmas tree and running around giggling and squealing.  Our guests included four of my current students, and two people who became my students during the activity!

Passamos a tarde cozinhando (o jantar não foi servido até depois das 19h) e reorganizando a casa.  Tiramos nosso sofá e deixamos ele na varanda, encostamos a mesa no balcão, e abrimos o espaço para juntar as mesas de plástico, para ser nossa mesa grande de Thanksgiving.  O peru demorou quase 2 vezes o tempo esperado para cozinhar, então atrasamos um pouco o jantar.  Mas deu tudo certo; tivemos algumas brincadeiras até terminar tudo.  As pessoas que vieram se apaixonaram por Little L., e ela adorou a atenção.  Ela passou o tempo todo mostrando a árvore de Natal a todo mundo e correndo para lá e para cá, dando risada e gritando de alegria.  Nossos convidados foram 4 dos meus alunos atuais, e mais 2 que se tornaram alunas durante o evento!

I won't say it was perfect, because it wasn't.  My dinner rolls didn't end up happening because I ran out of flour right in the middle of the recipe and had no more time to run and get some more.  Husband was on a table run, picking up tables for us to use, so I couldn't even ask him to run to the store!  The turkey took a long time, the music wasn't as perfect as I was hoping (it was Christmas music though, so that's gotta count for something!).  Even though it wasn't perfect, it was my kind of perfect.  Before we served ourselves dinner, we all said three things we were grateful for, I told them about the history of Thanksgiving in the USA, and some of my family's traditions, and Husband said a prayer of thanksgiving and blessing on the food.  It was the perfect Thanksgiving for this year, and even with the craziness, I wouldn't change a thing!

Não direi que foi perfeito, porque não foi.  Meus pãezinhos não aconteceram porque acabou a farinha de trigo no meio da receita, e não tive mais tempo para ir comprar mais.  Husband estava buscando as mesas, então não pude nem pedir para ele correr ao mercado rapidinho.  O peru demorou demais, a música não foi tão perfeita como eu esperava (mas foi música de Natal, então isso deve valer alguma coisa!).  Mesmo com todas as imperfeições, foi o meu tipo de perfeito.  Antes de nos servir, todo mundo falou 3 coisas pelas quais são gratos, eu contei a história de Thanksgiving nos EUA, e algumas tradições da minha família.  Husband fez uma oração de gratidão e uma bênção na comida.  Foi o Thanksgiving perfeito para esse ano, e mesmo com a loucura, eu não mudaria nada!

Everyone who was there (except Husband!)....yes, I am actually in this picture with Little L.!
Todo mundo que estava presente (menos Husband!)....sim, eu saí na foto com Little L.!

I forgot to take a "before" picture, so here's looking at the leftovers (aka, lunch the next few days)
Esqueci de tirar uma foto "antes", então aqui vai o que sobrou (ou seja, almoço durante os próximos dias)

So that was Thanksgiving, in a nutshell.  We are skipping December for another conversation class, but stay tuned for the flier for January!

Então, aí foi Thanksgiving, resumido.  Vamos pular o evento de conversação em dezembro, mas fiquem atentos para o anúncio para a aula de conversação de janeiro!

On a more personal note, I just wanted to say how grateful I am for a Husband who supports me in everything I am doing.  Back in college, when Husband and I decided we'd get married and live down here, a lot of my friends and colleagues asked me what I planned to do in Brazil.  I always laughed and told them I'd have babies and teach English.  I never imagined that I'd essentially start a home business that just keeps growing (without even trying, really), and that I'd really enjoy teaching English.  I love it, and even though I am exhausted by the end of the day, I wouldn't change it.  I feel like I am doing something to help my family, and to help all my students and friends.  And Husband has been by my side through it all, supporting me, cheering me on, and encouraging me to keep putting myself out there, building up my reputation and always looking for new things to do for my students.  He has been by my side 100%, and especially in the last year when things have REALLY picked up.  And I am so grateful for Little L. being so patient with all my classes!  She loves my students, and even though this is the only thing she's ever known (Mommy teaching classes at home, I mean), she is a really good sport about it, even on really busy days when I can't play with her as much as we'd both like.  My family is everything, and I am so grateful for them.  And along with that, I am grateful for my STUDENTS, who understand that sometimes my attention is split between them and Little L., and yet they still keep coming back!  They are wonderful people, and I feel privileged to be their teacher. 

Agora falando mais pessoal, eu só queria dizer o quanto sou grata por meu Husband que me apoia em tudo que estou fazendo.  Quando eu estava na faculdade, quando Husband e eu decidimos que iríamos casa e morar aqui no Brasil, muitos amigos e colegas meus me perguntaram o que eu faria no Brasil.  Eu sempre dava risada e respondia que eu teria bebês e ensinaria inglês.  Eu nunca imaginei que eu basicamente abriria um negócio em casa que está crescendo mais e mais (sem muito esforço, na verdade), e que eu acabaria gostando muito de ensinar inglês.  Eu amo isso, e mesmo que eu esteja totalmente exausta no final do dia, eu não o mudaria.  Sinto que estou ajudando minha família, e ajudando meus alunos e amigos.  E Husband está ao meu lado o tempo todo, me apoiando e encorajando, sempre me ajudando a melhorar e ver coisas novas que posso fazer para meus alunos.  Ele está ao meu lado 100% desde o início, e principalmente no último ano, quando as coisas cresceram muito.  E também sou tão grata por Little L., por ela ser tão paciente com todas minhas aulas!  Ela adora meus alunos, e mesmo que essa seja a única vida que ela conhece (Mommy dando aulas em casa, quero dizer), ela está muito tranquila, mesmo nos dias mais corridos quando não posso brincar com ela o quanto nós gostaríamos.  Minha família é tudo, e sou tão grata por eles.  E mais sobre isso, sou grata por meus ALUNOS, que entendem que às vezes minha atenção está dividida entre eles e Little L., e mesmo assim ainda voltam!  São pessoas incríveis, e sinto privilegiada por ser sua professora!

Thanksgiving is tomorrow!

If I'm being perfectly honest with you and with myself, I am more excited about this year's Thanksgiving than I have been in a long time.  I get to share it with family and friends.  As I write this, I should be starting on the pies, but I am sitting here listening to Vocal Point Christmas music and writing instead.  I am so excited I am giddy!  And I am making everything myself, from scratch....turkey, gravy, glazed and non-glazed carrots, pumpkin, mashed potatoes, apple pie, chocolate pie, and rolls.  And possibly green bean casserole if I can find green beans today....

It's a lot of work!  But I'm up for it.  I have several students and their friends coming.  We are going to shove a few tables together to make a big table, have some great Christmas music on in the background, and talk about what we are grateful for.  I am excited to share this USA tradition with some of my Brazilian friends.  Husband suggested setting up the Christmas tree for it too.  I used to be fundamentally against the Christmas tree going up until after Thanksgiving, but he had a good point...bring in the Christmas Spirit a little early, and get us all geared up for the holidays here.  I guess if I can't have snow, I should be able to get the tree up early. :)

Anyway, as always, I will post photos after Thanksgiving.  I just wanted to write a little something today.  And now I need to get to peeling and slicing apples.....



Se estou sendo honesta comigo mesma e com vocês, estou mais animada para Ação de Graças (Thanksgiving) esse ano do que tenho ficado há muito tempo!  Vou poder compartilhar esse dia com família e amigos.  Enquanto escrevo isso, eu deveria estar fazendo as tortas, mas estou sentada aqui escutando música de Natal de Vocal Point e escrevendo.  Eu estou tão animada!  Vou fazer tudo sozinha....peru, molho, cenouras, abóbora, puré de batata, torta de maçã, torta de chocolate, e pãezinhos.  E talvez algumas outras verduras se eu consigo achar....

É muito trabalho!  Mas vamos lá.  Tenho alguns alunos e seus amigos vindo.  Vamos juntar algumas mesas para criar uma grande mesa, ter música de Natal tocando no fundo, e falar sobre o que somos gratos.  Estou animada para compartilhar essa tradição dos EUA com alguns dos meus amigos brasileiros.  Husband sugeriu montar a árvore de Natal também.  Antigamente eu não concordava em montar a árvore de Natal até depois de Thanksgiving, mas ele tem razão....trazer o espírito de Natal cedo.  Se não posso ter neve, posso ter a árvore um pouco cedo, né? :)

Como sempre, postarei as fotos depois de Thanksgiving.  Só queria escrever um pouco hoje.  E agora preciso ir descascar e cortar maçãs.....

Little L.'s first (real[ish]) Halloween

Wow, I haven't written in a while!  Things have been pretty busy around here.

So remember how I mentioned a Halloween Party?  That happened this week.  There was a lot of planning and organizing involved, and it took up a lot of my spare time.  I had to plan decorations, food, games, etc.  And it turned out really great!

I dressed Little L. up as a ballerina, and she absolutely loved wearing a tutu for 3 hours!  Many of my current, former and future students attended said party.  It was a party, but it was actually a conversation class.  Husband and I made a bunch of American sweets for it (cheesecake, brownies, a couple kinds of cookies), and we had pizza that a friend of ours made.  I borrowed the decorations from another friend who already had them, so that worked out well.  I put on some Halloween music in the background, and we had a grand old time playing games to motivate conversation (in English, of course), and stuffing our faces.  I met some new people, and have two new students because of it!

This event was the first in a series we are doing, of big conversation classes.  So this was the test, and it did pretty well.  Everyone loved it, and I know better how to plan the next one (specifically how to divide games between beginners and advanced English speakers).  So the next one will be on Thanksgiving, and we will have a real Thanksgiving dinner.  I'm finishing up the logistics of it now, and the invitation will go out probably tomorrow.

Little L. loved wearing her costume, and talking to all her "titios" and "titias" (who she already knew from my classes), and having them all here at once.  She ate a TON of candy and went to bed late, as every kid should on Halloween!  It was a great event for English and for my students, but for me the best part was being able to give Little L. a somewhat real Halloween, even if we didn't go trick-or-treating.  Halloween isn't really a thing here, and trick-or-treating definitely doesn't exist, so we had to make it happen ourselves.  I loved seeing how excited she was by all of the festivities!

(Almost) everyone who came!
(Quase) todo mundo que veio! 

Little L. "teaching" Thais
Little L. "ensinando" Thais

Nossa, faz tempo que não escrevo!  Tem sido uma correria aqui.

Então, lembra como falei de uma Halloween Party?  Aconteceu essa semana.  Tinha muito planejamento e organização antes, e tomou muito do meu tempo livre.  Tive que planejar as decorações, comida, brincadeiras, etc.  E deu muito certo!

Fantasiei Little L. como uma bailarina, e ela adorou usar um tutu por 3 horas!  Muitos dos meus alunos atuais, antigos, e futuros vieram para a festa.  Foi uma festa, mas na verdade foi uma aula de conversação.  Eu e Husband fizemos vários doces americanos (cheesecake, brownies, 2 tipos de cookies), e uma amiga nossa fez pizza.  Peguei as decorações emprestadas de uma outra amiga.  Coloquei música de Halloween, e divertimo-nos muito fazendo brincadeiras para incentivar a conversação (em inglês, claro), e comendo para caramba.  Conheci algumas pessoas novas e tenho 2 alunas novas devido à aula!

Este evento foi o primeiro de uma série que estamos fazendo, de grandes aulas de conversação.  Então este foi o teste, e foi bom.  Todo mundo amou, e agora sei melhor como planejar o próximo (especificamente, como dividir as brincadeiras entre iniciantes e quem já fala bem o inglês).  Então o próximo será Thanksgiving, e teremos um jantar real de Thanksgiving.  Estou terminando os detalhes agora, e o convite será enviado provavelmente amanhã.

Little L. adorou usar a fantasia, e adorou falar com seus "titios" e "titias" (que ela já conhece das aulas que dou), e ter todos aqui ao mesmo tempo.  Ela comeu um MONTE de doces e dormiu tarde, como toda criança deve fazer no Halloween!  Foi um evento muito legal para inglês e para meus alunos, mas para mim a melhor parte foi poder dar um quase-verdadeiro Halloween para Little L.  Só não fomos "trick-or-treating".  Halloween não é um feriado aqui, e "trick-or-treating" com certeza não existe, então tivemos que fazer nós mesmos.  Eu adorei ver o quanto ela estava animada com tudo!

Projects, Parties, and Plans

So I'm sitting down to write this post, and if I'm being perfectly honest with you and with myself, I'm not sure what direction it's going to take.  I have been pretty busy lately with several projects.  So today's post is going to really be just ramblings...

At church, I am the institute teacher, and have been for 3 years.  (For those unfamiliar with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, let me explain... all the local leadership, teachers, etc. are non-paid.  We members get what are called "callings", which is an opportunity to serve in  a specific position.  There's no time limit; so I don't know how long I will be in this position.  Institute is a religious study program.  It follows the local university semesters, and each semester is one course, worth two credits.  A person needs 14 credits to graduate.  Missed classes can be made up, as in any secular course.  There are reading assignments associated with each class, and an evaluation at the end of the semester.  This semester, the course we are doing is called The Eternal Family.)  I absolutely love this calling.  I have learned so much, and I hope I have been able to help someone else along the way.  This is a busy calling; more than just what my students see on Saturday nights in class.  Especially now where there is only a month left in the semester, I have a lot to do before the end, especially because graduation is in December, and I need to see who of my students is going to (or potentially could, with some extra work) graduate this year.  So I am always studying for classes, making up make-up exercises for missed classes, reading make-up work that has been done and turned in, working with students who are doing home-study because they can't make it to class on Saturdays, working with students who are missing just a few classes before they can graduate, etc.  Oh, and I have monthly training meetings.  So there ya have it; a small window into the life of an institute teacher.  But I love it.  And I have a couple students who help me out with the paperwork part, which takes a load off me.

One of my other projects.  So I'm sure most of you know that I am trying to light a fire under my business here.  You've all seen the Instagram and Facebook posts, with terrible-quality cell phone pictures (and some actually good pictures) of sweets I've been making.  Husband and I felt that we should really get this business moving, so we have started to do just that this month.  I will be making some mini apple pies for a party in a couple weeks.  I have a student (an angel, really!) who brings my sweets to work with her and sells them there for me.  I am designing a business card, which will be one of those "buy 8 get the ninth free" cards, to try to bring in some more business.  I already have a few places in mind that I could leave my card; I need to talk to the business owners (It's nice living in a small enough city that I actually know several business owners).  Right now I am just trying to get the word out!

And lastly, I am planning a Halloween Party/Giant Conversation Class for October 31, here at home. I am going to invite all my past, present, and potential students.  Obviously, I will be making the snacks for that, which will help the business get out there too.  I am still teaching a bunch, but this month has been a little slower due to holidays and work trips.  I am hoping that things will pick up again next week, but I also know the tendency is to die down from now until mid-February or so.  Which is why I really need the sweets to pick up!

In other news, Little L. is hysterical.  I can't even begin to describe all the hilarious things she does every day.  She cracks us up so much, and I love (99% of the time) her constant chatter, narrating her entire life to anyone who will listen.  It's adorable when either Husband or I are out, and then come home....she has to tell about everything that happened!  And now while we can't understand her babble, because her babble is splattered with actual words (both English and Portuguese!), we can get the gist of what she's talking about.  It's adorable.  Plus she is just so sweet.  I had a rough day a few days ago, and she noticed...she came over and hugged me and just kept telling me "it's okay" ("passou").  That brought other tears to my eyes, seeing just how loving this little person is.  She is such a blessing in our life.

Então, estou aqui escrevendo essa post, mas se estou sendo sincera com vocês e comigo mesma, não tenho a mínima idéia qual direção vai tomar.  Tenho andado bastante ocupada ultimamente com vários projetos.  Então a post de hoje vai ser só meus pensamentos sem sentido mesmo...

Na Igreja, sou a professora do Instituto, e tenho sido por 3 anos.  (Para vocês que não conhecem a Igreja de Jesus Cristo dos Santos dos Últimos dias, vou explicar...toda a liderança local, professores, etc. são voluntários.  Nós membros recebemos "chamados", que são oportunidades para servir em uma posição específica.  Não há um limite de tempo; então eu não sei até quando vou ficar nessa posição.  O Instituto é um programa de estudo religioso.  Segue os semestres das universidades locais, e cada semestre é um curso, valendo 2 créditos.  A pessoa precisa de 14 créditos para se formar.  Aulas perdidas podem ser recuperadas, como qualquer curso secular.  Tem designações de leitura para acompanhar cada aula, e uma avaliação no final do semestre.  Esse semestre, o nosso curso aqui é A Família Eterna.)  Eu adoro esse chamado.  Tenho aprendido tanto, e espero poder ter ajudado alguém ao longo do caminho.  É um chamado bastante corrido; mais que meus alunos vêem nas aulas nos sábados.  Principalmente agora, onde falta apenas 1 mês no semestre, e tenho muito a fazer antes do final, ainda mais porque a formatura vai ser em dezembro, e preciso ver quem de meus alunos vai (ou poderia, com um pouco mais de trabalho) formar-se esse ano.  Estou sempre estudando para a próxima aula, elaborando atividades de recuperação para aulas perdidas, lendo recuperações já feitas e entregues, trabalhando com alunos que estudam em casa por não poderem comparecer aos sábados, trabalhando com alunos que faltam pouco para se formar, etc.  Ah, também tenho treinamentos cada mês.  Aí está, uma janelinha para a vida de uma professora do Instituto!  Mas eu adoro isso.  E tenho alguns alunos que me ajudam, que me alivia um pouco,

Um dos meus outros projetos.  Tenho certeza que todos já sabem que estou tentando melhorar meu negócio aqui.  Vocês todos já viram as posts no Facebook e Instagram, com as fotos de qualidade baixa do celular (e algumas fotos boas também!) dos doces que tenho feito.  Husband e eu sentimos que devíamos focar mais nesse negócio, então temos começado isso esse mês de outubro.  Estarei fazendo umas tortinhas de maçã para uma festa daqui a 2 semanas.  Tenho uma aluna (um anjo, na verdade!) que leva meus doces para o trabalho dela e vende lá.  Eu estou fazendo cartões de visita, que também serão cartões de fidelidade daqueles "compre 8 e ganhe o nono", para tentar atrair mais clientes.  Já tenho algumas idéias de onde posso deixar os cartões; só preciso falar com os empresários (É bom morar numa cidadezinha onde conheço vários donos de empresas ou negócios locais!). 

E por último, estou planejando uma festa de Halloween/Aulão de conversação para dia 31 de outubro, aqui em casa.  Irei convidar todos meus alunos atuais, antigos, e em potencial.  Claro, estarei fazendo doces para isso também, para o negócio ficar mais conhecido.  Ainda estou dando bastante aulas, mas esse último mês, várias aulas têm caído, devido a feriados e viagens.  Espero que as coisas melhorem semana que vem, mas também sei que a tendência é cair bastante até o meio de fevereiro.  Por isso preciso mesmo vender mais doces!

Em outras novidades, Little L. é hilária.  Não consigo nem começar a descrever todas as coisas engraçadas que ela faz todos os dias.  Dou tanto risada com ela, e adoro (99% do tempo) a conversa constante dela, narrando a vida toda a qualquer pessoa que queira escutar.  É bonitinho quando ou eu ou Husband está fora, e chega em casa....ela tem que contar tudo que aconteceu!  E enquanto não entendamos a língua dela, agora a conversa dela também tem palavras (tanto inglês quanto português) misturadas, e dá para entendermos basicamente o que ela está dizendo.  Além disso, ela é amorosa.  Alguns dias atrás, tive um dia difícil, e ela percebeu....ela veio e me abraçou e só ficava falando "passou".  Isso me trouxe outras lágrimas, vendo o quanto essa pessoinha é perfeita e amorosa.  Ela é uma enorme bênção em nossa vida.  

This whole "Growing up" thing.

I'm not sure how I feel about it.  Today Little L. is clingier than she has been for a while...she is not feeling well.  While it drives me nuts sometimes during the day, I also love that she wants to sit and cuddle with me.  She's so active, it rarely happens anymore!

About 10 days or so ago, Little L. starting putting herself to bed.  She had already been going to sleep on her own for several months, but usually after a few minutes of cuddling.  One night out of the blue, she just pointed to her crib right after bedtime prayer, and went to sleep all by herself.  I was in shock...it was a bittersweet day!  That happened every day after that, for both naps and bedtime, except for like once where she actually wanted to cuddle.

I love seeing Little L. turn into an independent little girl.  I guess that means Husband and I are doing something right!  The whole point of raising children is to teach them to be independent adults, right? 

I guess the Growing Up part is just coming a lot faster than I expected.  Little L. feeds herself, helps herself to snacks, drinks out of a cup a lot of the time, runs around like crazy, talks ALL THE TIME, is learning to use the potty, picks out her own clothes, helps with the household chores....it's all happening so fast!  My dad always says that he wishes we could've stayed 4 years old forever.  With every day that passes and every 10 new words that Little L. learns, I understand more and more this sentiment.  

I love seeing Little L. become the sweet, kind, affectionate little girl she is, but I also miss my little baby.  It is all happening so fast!  It feels like just yesterday I was in labor, just yesterday she spent hours in my arms every day, just yesterday we celebrated her first birthday (and even THAT came too fast!), and all of a sudden, here we are.  She will be 2 in a few short months. 

I thank God every single day for the opportunity to be Little L.'s mommy.  She has taught me so much about unconditional love, trust, and forgiveness.  I just wish that for just one moment, time could stand still so I could enjoy her being this little before I blink and she's grown up!



Não sei como estou sentindo sobre esse negócio de Little L. crescer!  Hoje ela está mais grudada em mim que tem ficado ultimamente...ela não está se sentindo bem.  Enquanto isso me deixa doida em alguns momentos no dia, também adoro que ela quer sentar e ficar juntinha a mim.  Ela é tão ativa, raramente acontece isso!

Uns 10 dias atrás, Little L. começou a se colocar para dormir.  Ela já estava dormindo sozinha por alguns meses, mas sempre depois de ficar no colo uns minutinhos.  Uma noite, do nada, ela apontou para o berço depois de orarmos, e foi dormir sozinha.  Eu fiquei tão surpresa....foi um dia feliz e triste!  Isso aconteceu todos os dias depois daquela noite, tanto para dormir de tarde quanto para dormir à noite, menos uma vez que ela queria ficar um pouco no colo.

Eu adoro ver Little L. tornar-se uma menina independente.  Isso quer dizer que Husband e eu estamos fazendo alguma coisa certa!  O propósito de criar filhos é ensiná-los a serem adultos independents, não é?

Acho que a parte de "crescer e amadurecer" está vindo mais rápido que eu esperava.  Little L. come sozinha, pega merenda sozinha, bebe de um copo normal muitas vezes, corre para todo canto, fala o tempo todo, está aprendendo a usar o vazo sanitário, escolhe suas próprias roupas, ajuda com as tarefas aqui em casa....está acontecendo tudo tão rápido!  Meu pai sempre diz que queria que nós ficássemos com 4 anos para sempre.  Com cada dia que passa e cada 10 palavras novas que Little L. aprende, eu entendo melhor esse sentimento!

Amo ver Little L. ficar essa menininha carinhosa, amorosa, e doce que ela é, mas também sinto falta de minha bebezinha!  Está acontecendo tudo tão rápido!  Sinto como se fosse ontem que eu estava na maternidade, ontem que ela passava horas e horas em meus braços todos os dias, ontem que comemoramos o primeiro aniversário dela (que também chegou rápido demais!), e de repente aqui estamos.  Ela vai fazer 2 aninhos daqui uns meses.

Dou graças a Deus todos os dias pela oportunidade de ser a mamãe de Little L.  Ela me ensina tanto sobre amor incondicional, confiança, e perdão.  Só queria que por apenas um momento, o tempo pudesse parar para que eu pudesse curtir o tamaninho dela antes de eu piscar os olhos e ela crescer!

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of Long Distance

Only I'm going to change the order of that, and leave "The Good" for last!

The Bad

Long-distance relationships are hard.  That's as simple as it gets.  There are a lot of difficult parts to it, first and foremost being the distance! 

Husband and I were blessed to be able to talk via Skype at least.  We didn't have Whatsapp yet, but we did have Skype and Google Hangouts.  We were able to video chat pretty frequently.  Nearly every day, in normal times.  Sometimes it was not as frequent, due to time differences, vacations, work, classes, etc.  But overall, we video chatted nearly every day.  And even with that, it was hard.  I can't imagine how it was for my parents when they did it, many years ago, relying only on letters!

What's bad about it?  Sure, with video chatting you can see each other's faces, but still a lot of body language is lost.  You never really realize just how important body language is until you don't have it to rely on.  A lot of unnecessary "discussions" can be avoided through it; without it, a lot of misinterpretations and misunderstandings happen.

Long distance is tough in that there isn't always constant communication.  Since your schedules aren't in sync, because of being so far apart, you have to really make time to see each other.  Most of the time, Husband was 3 or 4 hours ahead of me...which meant we talked late at night his time, or I took my afternoons to talk to him, and then stayed up late to finish homework.  Lots of sacrifices come with long-distance relationships, but I wouldn't always classify that as "bad".

The Ugly

The ugly can be summed up in one word: disagreements.  Fights.  Arguments. Whatever.  And those are not easy to resolve with thousands of miles between you.  And sometimes you just have to wait until you can talk to each other again, and that waiting can be agony.  Yeah, every couple has their moments, but long distance makes it harder than it needs to be.  We had our fair share of disagreements, and those were hard days for both of us.  

There are also times that one or both of you thinks about calling it quits.  You wonder if it's really worth it.  THOSE are the hardest, ugliest times of all.

The tears.  There are lots of tears involved in a long-distance relationship, whether they are related to fights, second-guessing, or just missing each other and being sad because of the distance.  

The Good

Even with all the drawbacks, there are a LOT of good parts about a long-distance relationship.  Because of the physical distance, you can reduce the emotional distance.  It may sound far-fetched, but let me explain.  When literally all you have is conversation, you talk about everything and anything.  You learn how to not run out of things to talk about.  You learn to really care about the answer to "how was your day?" and really listen to answers.  You learn to communicate on whole new levels.  Because you can't hug when you make up after an argument, you learn how to communicate your feelings to the other person.  You learn to open up about what you feel, what you think, what you hope and dream.  You share every part of your mind with each other.  You tell stories about your past.  You learn about each other's habits, even though you are not together.  

So much so that when Husband and I got married (finally!), there were no surprises.  I had heard a lot about the adjustment period at the beginning of a marriage, of living together and adjusting to each other's habits.  Well, to be honest, I am still waiting for that to start.  I had no surprises whatsoever, and the same goes for Husband.  We already knew how to deal with each other when we didn't get along.  He already knew I am minorly OCD about tidiness (still working on that!).  I already knew he hated washing dishes.  These small things that you think we wouldn't see, especially with the distance, we already knew about each other.  And that was a wonderful thing.  

No, we are not perfect communicators; we still have things to learn.  But all our time spent apart really helped in the way we talk to each other and are open with each other.  

Conclusion

What gives me the right to write about this as if I know something? Husband and I literally lived on opposite sides of the world for the whole 2 years we were together before we got married.  I envied my friends in long-distance relationships of just a few states, where they could see each other every couple months.  We saw each other once a year.  From the time we started dating until the day we got married, Husband and I had actually been physically together only 67 days.  We had been dating for 752 days.  So...not even 10% of our time together was spent in each other's presence!

Something both Husband and I have been saying for years is that part of what held us together was being apart.  It would've been awesome to have spent those two years together and not so far apart, yeah.  And at the same time, we learned so much by being apart.  No, I don't recommend long-distance as a solution to relationship problems.  What I am trying to say is that it could be beneficial to have some degree of distance in the beginning stages of a relationship, just to learn about communication, and about each other!  The physical side of any romantic relationship is awesome, and necessary, but sometimes that can take over, especially in the beginning, and the talking is forgotten.  And communication is one of the keys to hold a relationship together, so the earlier that is figured out, the better.




Só que eu vou deixar "o bom" para último!

O Ruim

Relacionamentos de longa-distância são difíceis.  É simples assim.  Existem várias partes difíceis, a primeira sendo a distância!

Husband e eu fomos abençoados em que podíamos nos falar pelo Skype, pelo menos.  Ainda não tinha WhatsApp, mas tínhamos Skype e Google Hangouts.  Deu para falarmos por vídeo com frequência.  Quase todos os dias, em tempos normais.  Às vezes não foi tão frequente, devido ao fuso horário, férias, trabalho, aulas, etc.  Mas em geral, falávamos por vídeo quase todos os dias.  E mesmo com isso, foi difícil.  Nem imagino como foi para meus pais quando eles fizeram isso, muitos anos atrás, dependendo só de cartas!

O que é ruim sobre essa fase de um relacionamento?  Mesmo com o vídeo, dá para ver o rosto um do outro, mas muita linguagem corporal é perdida.  Nunca se percebe a importância de linguagem corporal até não ter mais isso.  Muitas "discussões" desnecessárias podem ser evitadas com a linguagem corporal; sem ela, acontecem muitos desentendimentos e interpretações erradas.

A longa-distância é complicada em que nem sempre tem comunicação constante.  As pessoas têm que arrumar tempo uma pela outra, já que não estão no mesmo lugar e nem com os mesmos horários livres.  A maioria do tempo, Husband estava 3 ou 4 horas a minha frente (com fuso horário)....que significava que falávamos muito tarde para ele, ou então eu tirava minhas tardes para falar com ele e depois ficava até tarde de noite estudando.  Muitos sacrifícios vêm com relacionamentos de longa-distância, mas eu não diria que isso é "ruim".

O Feio

O feio pode ser resumido em uma palavra: desentendimentos.  Brigas.  Discussões.  Tanto faz.  E esses não são fáceis de resolver com milhares de quilômetros entre as 2 pessoas.  E às vezes tem que esperar até a próxima vez que dá para se falar, e essa espera pode ser agonia!  Sim, todo casal tem seus momentos, mas a distância faz isso mais difícil que tinha que ser.  Nós tínhamos bastante desentendimentos, e foram dias difíceis para nós 2.

Tem dias que um ou os dois pensa em desistir.  Fica se perguntando se realmente vale a pena.  AQUELES são os dias mais difíceis e feios de todos.

As lágrimas.  Tem muitas lágrimas envolvidas em um relacionamento a distância, sejam relacionadas a brigas, questionando se vale a pena, ou só saudades e tristeza por causa da distância.

O Bom

Mesmo com todas as desvantagens, tem MUITAS partes boas sobre um relacionamento a distância.  Por causa da distância física, pode-se reduzir a distância emocional.  Parece impossível, mas deixe-me explicar.  Quando literalmente tudo que vocês têm é a conversa, acabam-se falando sobre tudo, e qualquer assunto.  Aprende como não ficar sem assunto.  Aprende a realmente se importar com a resposta da pergunta "como foi seu dia?" e verdadeiramente escutar às respostas.  Aprende a comunicar-se em um nível mais profundo.  Porque não podem se abraçar depois de uma briga, aprende a comunicar seus sentimentos para a outra pessoa.  Aprende a se abrir sobre o que sente, o que pensa, o que espera e sonha.  Acaba compartilhando toda parte de sua mente.  Conta histórias sobre seu passado.  Aprende sobre os hábitos do outro, mesmo não estando juntos fisicamente.

Tanto que quando Husband e eu (finalmente!) nos casamos, não havia surpresas.  Eu tinha ouvido muito sobre o tempo que demora para acostumar no início do casamento, de morar juntos e acostumar-se com os hábitos um do outro.  Mas, para ser sincera, ainda estou esperando isso começar!  Eu não tinha surpresa nenhuma, e Husband diz a mesma coisa.  Já sabíamos como resolver quando não concordávamos.  Ele já sabia que gosto de tudo no seu lugarzinho (até demais....ainda estou tentando melhorar isso!).  Eu já sabia que ele não gosta de lavar louças.  Essas coisas pequenas, mesmo com a distância, já sabíamos um sobre o outro.  E foi uma coisa maravilhosa.

Não, ainda não somos perfeitos em comunicação; temos muitas coisas para aprender.  Mas todo nosso tempo separados ajudou na maneira que falamos um com o outro, e em nossa abertura um com o outro.

Conclusão

O que me dá o direito de escrever sobre isso como se eu soubesse alguma coisa?  Eu e Husband literalmente morava em lados opostos do mundo durante os 2 anos que estávamos juntos antes de casar.  Eu tinha inveja  das minhas amigas em relacionamentos a distância de apenas alguns estados, onde eles podiam se ver de 2 em 2 meses.  Nós nos vimos uma vez por ano.  Desde o tempo que começamos a namorar até o dia que casamos, Husband e eu tínhamos passado apenas 67 dias juntos.  Namoramos por 752 dias.  Então....nem 10% de nosso tempo juntos foi passado na presença um do outro!

Uma coisa que tanto Husband quanto eu tenhamos falado por alguns anos é que uma coisa que ajudou-nos a ficar juntos foi a distância no início do relacionamento.  Teria sido incrível ter passado esses 2 anos juntos, sim.  Mas ao mesmo tempo, aprendemos tanto pela distância.  Não, eu não recomendo a distância como a solução de problemas de relacionamento.  O que estou tentando dizer é que poderia ser beneficial ter um pouco de distância no início de um relacionamento, só para aprender sobre comunicação, e um ao outro.  O lado físico de um relacionamento romântico é ótimo, e necessário, mas às vezes pode tomar conta, principalmente no início, e a conversa é esquecida.  E comunicação é uma das chaves que segura um relacionamento, então quanto mais cedo é entendido, melhor.  

We got way too familiar with the airport...

Stress-less

I feel a lot less stressed today.

Maybe because both yesterday and today I had time to just sit and READ.  Whatever I wanted.  It wasn't a long time...only about 10 minutes today...but it was what I needed.  And I got to play the piano both yesterday and today, and help some people learn about music.

I didn't realize how much I had been missing both those things, nor how much they help me de-stress and relax.

My house is clean (Husband did 85% of that), I had a delicious lunch (Husband made that while I read and relaxed), and I get to go to bed early tonight.  I feel like I am being spoiled!  I suppose I should take advantage of it while I can, before craziness returns!

What helps YOU de-stress?  And how do you make time for it on a regular basis?



Eu sinto menos estressada hoje.

Talvez porque tanto ontem quanto hoje eu tive tempo para sentar e LER.  O que eu quisesse.  Não foi muito tempo...apenas 10 minutos hoje...mas foi o que eu estava precisando.  E também pude tocar o piano ontem e hoje, e ajudar algumas pessoas a aprenderem sobre música.

Eu não sabia o quanto eu estava sentindo falta dessas duas coisas, nem como elas me ajudam a desestressar e relaxar. 

Minha casa está limpa (Husband fez 85% disso), tive um almoço delicioso (Husband fez isso enquanto eu li e relaxei), e posso dormir cedo hoje.  Sinto que estou sendo mimada!  Acho que devo aproveitar enquanto posso, antes da loucura voltar!

O que ajuda você a desestressar?  E como você arruma tempo para isso regularmente? 

Sometimes Being Strong Means Crying

Tonight there was a lot of crying.  Not because Little L. was resisting bedtime.  She's in a good phase now where she goes to bed without a problem.

No, tonight's crying was because Daddy was leaving for work.  He has a job where he doesn't work 9-5.  He works for one day and then has a few days off.  But sometimes that one day is extended, plus there's travel time.  So he won't be back until a couple days from now.  This is actually a great schedule...a year ago he was working a week at a time and only got to be home for a couple days before starting over.  Now, though, he's home just long enough for us girls to get used to him being home...and then off to work again.  It's hard on me; I can't even imagine how hard it is on Little L., not knowing when she will see Daddy again.  Because even explaining it, she doesn't yet have the same concept of time that we do.

She sobbed and sobbed and held him like there was no tomorrow.  And when he left, she kept sobbing uncontrollably and calling "Papaiiiii" over and over again.

It was heartbreaking.

I tried to hold it together; I always do.  But tonight I just couldn't.  And there we were, crying together and wiping each other's tears and just hugging while missing Daddy.

Sometimes I feel very tired.  Exhausted.  I have to be the strong one a lot of the time, and show Little L. that it's okay; Daddy is coming home.  But sometimes I just don't have the strength for that anymore.  And just like Little L., sometimes I just want to cry on my mommy's shoulder when Husband is gone.


Hoje à noite teve muito choro.  Não porque Little L. estava resistindo a hora de dormir.  Ela está numa fase boa agora em que ela dorme sem problema.  

Não, o choro de hoje foi porque Papai estava saindo para trabalhar.  Ele tem um emprego onde ele não trabalha das 9h às 17h todos os dias.  Ele trabalha um dia e folga alguns dias.  Mas às vezes aquelas 24 horas são estendidas, e também tem o tempo da viagem.  Na verdade é uma escala ótima....um ano atrás, ele estava trabalhando uma semana direta, e voltava para casa por apenas 2 ou 3 dias, e aí começava de novo.  Agora, ele está em casa para a gente acostumar com ele aqui....e aí chega a hora dele ter que sair para trabalhar.  É difícil para mim; nem imagino como é difícil para Little L., sem saber quando vai ver Papai de novo.  Porque mesmo explicando, ela ainda não tem o mesmo conceito de tempo que nós temos. 

Ela chorou e chorou e segurou nele como se nunca fosse largar.  E quando ele saiu, ela chorou incontrolavelmente chamando "Papaiiiii" vez após vez.

Partiu o meu coração.

Eu tentei me segurar e me manter firme; sempre faço isso.  Mas hoje eu não consegui.  E lá estávamos nós, chorando juntas e limpando as lágrimas uma da outra, e se abraçando enquanto sentindo falta de Papai.

Às vezes me sinto muito cansada.  Exausta.  Eu tenho que ser forte, para mostrar a Little L. que está tudo bem; Papai volta.  Mas às vezes eu não tenho mais a força para isso.  E como Little L., às vezes só quero chorar no ombro de minha mamãe quando Husband não está em casa.

The Greatest Love Story I've Ever Heard (part 4...getting married!!)

Continued from parts 1 (how we met), 2 (the real beginning), and 3 (visa stuff....and waiting)


Our first plan was actually to get married in the States.  But when we started looking into the fiancé visa, we gave up on that idea.  There was no way we could afford all that.  So we decided to get married in Brazil, where I wouldn't have to get a new visa.  I could get married on my tourist visa (totally legally, no questions asked), and then change my visa to a permanent one after the wedding. 

The Paperwork

In the end of 2013, we looking into all the paperwork necessary for that.  I would need a ton of paperwork, documents, etc, all authenticated by the Brazilian Consulate in the States and then translated by an official translator here in Brazil.  It was a lot of work, but still WAY less than it would have been had we gotten married in the USA.  So I got all my paperwork together.  My parents helped me, since I was still off in Utah finishing up school (I wouldn't finish until mid-June, and then I had a ticket to move to Brazil for July 4), and I was working through the Boston Consulate.  Over Christmas break I was able to get a bunch of it done, running around the state like a crazy person.  Anyway, a few months before the wedding, we sent it all down to Best Friend, so that he'd have plenty of time to get it translated and then start the process to get a marriage license.  I even wrote a letter authorizing his mom to stand in and sign for me to start the process.  Well, the first batch got to him.  The second one never made it...

When I got back to my parents' house for a couple weeks after finishing college, I ran around like a crazy person again to get the half of the paperwork (AGAIN) that hadn't made it down to Best Friend yet.  I would just bring it with me and we'd start the marriage license process as soon as I got here.  He had already gotten a translator for the other half of the paperwork, and fortunately she was very willing to work with us.  She had me scan and email her the rest of the paperwork, and she translated it.  When we picked it up, we just showed her the originals so she could sign off on it.  We should have known that this was the beginning of an INSANE month before our wedding!

Our wedding date was set for July 24.  About a month before that, Best Friend signed a contract to rent our house, where I'd live by myself before our wedding.  He had ordered some of our furniture; the rest we'd buy together when I got there.  I left the States on July 4 (Happy Independence Day!), arriving here the next day.  It was a Saturday when I got here, so there wasn't much we could do for the paperwork until Monday.  On the way back from the airport, though, we stopped at the party planner's house and just went over all the details.  It was all fine by me....like I said before, we are simple people and didn't want a lot of extravagance.  It was going to be a relatively small wedding.  I moved into our house...we had a bed, a wardrobe, a stove, kitchen cabinets, and a kitchen table and chairs. That's it!  Over the next couple weeks we got the rest of what we needed...couch, fridge, food, cleaning supplies, etc.  We also moved Best Friend's stuff from his parents' house to ours over the next few weeks.

Monday we picked up our translated paperwork, and Tuesday (July 8) we went to city hall to get the marriage license.  That ended up being an all-day process.  Best Friend had a very good boss at the time and was willing to work with him coming and going all day, because he had to sign different parts.  I still had no idea what was going on, as I'd never really dealt with any of this type of stuff in Brazil.  I didn't realize it would be so complicated.  Anyway, there was one major complication: It would take AT LEAST 30 days to get our marriage license.  We had two weeks.  We told the ladies at city hall (who were EXTREMELY helpful, so much so that we still go see them just to say hi!) that our wedding was planned for the 24th, and we'd be leaving town the next day and couldn't change the wedding date.  They offered several suggestions, none of which would be conducive to our standards, which we also explained.  They were very understanding and in the end told us that if we knew someone who knew someone who knew someone, we could probably get the license in 15 days.  

I didn't know ANYONE, of course, being new in town.  Fortunately for us, Best Friend's mom knows everyone!  While Best Friend went back to work for a bit, she and I went across town to visit a lawyer friend.  We explained the situation to him, and he was more than willing to help.  He even knew the right person, and said he'd talk to him the next day!  So the next few days were kind of crazy.  We found an error on the announcement and had to return to city hall to fix that (it had my father as being Brazilian!).  Our lawyer friend talked to his connections and got everything squared away so that we'd get the license in time.  But that doesn't mean we weren't still worried about it!

Over the next couple weeks leading up to the wedding, we scrambled to deliver invitations, get our house in order and Best Friend's stuff moved in.  My mom was able to come down for the wedding, which was awesome!  She got here two days beforehand, so we were able to show her around town a little bit, but mostly she ended up being the seamstress to fix all the dress problems that a few family members had!  She didn't mind, though; my mom is awesome. 

The Wedding

July 24, 2014 was a crazy awesome day.  Best Friend's mother picked up our marriage license just a couple hours before the wedding.  His dad picked up one of his best friends from the airport just a few hours before the wedding.  Mom and I were mostly just at home finishing up some sewing details.  And I didn't really have much to do.  So I just hung out.  And packed for Recife and Fortaleza.


Before continuing, let me explain something.  In our Church, we believe that marriages and families can be forever....we don't believe that the limit is "til death do us part".  In order for a marriage to be eternal, it must be realized in one of our Temples, by someone who has authority from God to do so.  In the USA, this Temple marriage is counted as the civil marriage.  In Brazil, the civil marriage is separate, so we had to get married civilly before we could be married (sealed) in the Temple the next day.

I was scheduled to get my hair and makeup done at 4pm, to be ready for our wedding at 7pm.  I am a punctual person, and had made it very clear that I didn't want to be late to my own wedding, even if that was the "tradition".  Things don't always go according to plan, though..........

When I arrived at 4pm, there were still a few people ahead of me to be done.  So I had to wait.  Fortunately for everybody, myself included, I was NOT anxious or nervous or anything of the sort.  I just wanted to be on time, and I saw that slipping away, so I was annoyed for a moment....until I just let it go.  Just go with it, right?


In the end, I arrived at the venue just before 9pm.  !!!!!!!!!!!!! Our wedding began just a few minutes later.  I found out later that Best Friend had arrived just a few minutes before me, so that's a relief.  He was apparently a nervous wreck, too. ;)


The ceremony was wonderful, magical, unforgettable.  It was better than I had always dreamed.  Because my dad couldn't be there, my wonderful mom walked me down the aisle, which is something special that I will never forget.  

The wedding was beautiful.  It was in the same place we had our reception, so as soon as the ceremony was over, we got to talk to everyone, dance, eat, eat cake, and just enjoy being together and with everyone who was there.  We had about 75 people present, and it was perfect.  Oh, and WE GOT MARRIED!! 

Everything finally wrapped up around 1am.  Our wedding planner did everything, so we had no worries there.  We just helped with cleanup and then headed back to our house.

The Wedding Night (don't worry, it's G-rated)

We got back to our house with my mom around 1:30am or so.  Mom hung out on the couch and snoozed, and we hung out on the living room floor and opened presents.  It was pointless to sleep; we'd be going to the airport in less than 2 hours.  HUSBAND (!!!!!!) went back to his parents' house to finish packing up a couple things, during which time I took a shower and washed out the gallon of hairspray from my hair.  There was so much hairspray, I'm pretty sure I could've gone weeks without washing my hair and no one would notice, because it would be exactly the same as it was at the wedding.  Anyway, the taxi came to get us around 3am, and Mom and Husband and I headed to the airport.  Mom had a flight to Recife earlier than ours.  Husband's parents got there a couple hours later, and we were all on the same flight to Recife.  We found Mom there, perfectly content in the airport, waiting for us.  Turns out, she'd bumped into a few American missionaries there, so she had people to talk to while she waited!

The Sealing

We all left for the Temple and had most of the day to rest or do whatever we wanted.  Our sealing ceremony wasn't until 7pm.  I tried to sleep, and even though I was exhausted (it was now Friday, and I hadn't slept since Wednesday night), I couldn't get to sleep.  I was too excited.  Husband and I walked around the gardens a bit, just talking and enjoying our time together.  

The sealing was wonderful.  I can't even put it into words.  If the civil ceremony the day before was amazing, the sealing was 100 times better.  It is an indescribably good feeling knowing that we were going to be together FOREVER, not just for this life on earth.  This truly was the beginning of a wonderful journey together. 

The next day, we walked around and took some pictures in the garden.  Husband's parents had to head back home, so we spent the rest of the day with Mom and some friends around Recife, before Husband and I left for our honeymoon in Fortaleza. 

We got to spend a week in Fortaleza, which we learned is an absolutely beautiful city!  We chose Fortaleza for our honeymoon because it was a city neither of us had been to, and it just sounded like fun!  So why not??  We got to see some of the beautiful beaches, enjoy the boardwalk each evening, dodge time-share-package-vendors by telling them (in English) that we didn't speak Portuguese, go sailing on a schooner, and just relax before starting our life together in the real world.  We definitely want to go back some day!

Obviously we had to check out some local geology (I had read about it beforehand, but never thought we'd actually get to see it!!)

Watching the schooners at sunset The end of the beginning... And that, my friends, is the beginning of the Greatest Love Story I've Ever Heard.  I a still living this greatest love story.  These first three years of marriage have been absolutely amazing, more wonderful than I could have ever imagined or dreamed.  In telling this story, I have realized that I lack the words and creativity to truly express everything we have been through and everything I think and feel, but there will be future posts to expound on some parts (the long-distance part, and the visa stuff, specifically) of this story that I had to leave out for now.  Stay tuned for more! Oh, and a funny note.  Remember that lost paperwork?  We got it finally when we returned fro our honeymoon!