Death gives rise to hope.

A morte leva à esperança.

On June 1, 2010, I was a missionary in São Paulo.  My uncle had had cancer for a while, but in all the news I’d received from home, things were looking up.  He was doing better.  On this day, however, my mission president called me and informed me that Uncle Eddie had passed away that morning.  He gave me the option of calling home if I wanted to (missionaries generally only call home on Mothers’ Day and Christmas).  

Dia 1 de junho de 2010, eu era uma missionária em São Paulo.  Meu tio tinha cancer durante um tempo, mas em todas as notícias que eu estava recebendo de minha família, ele estava bem.  Neste dia, portanto, meu presidente de missão me ligou e me informou que Uncle Eddie tinha falecido aquela manhã.  Ele me deu a opção de ligar para casa se eu quisesse (geralmente os missionários só ligam para casa no Dia das Mães e no Natal).

On May 24, 2018, I was in Recife spending a week at the temple there. As you all know from my last post (a few months ago), Nana had taken a turn for the worse at the end of 2017.  Since then, however, she’d gotten stronger, and had made some improvements. On this day, however, I got a phone call from my parents informing me that Nana had passed away that morning.

No dia 24 de maio de 2018, eu estava em Recife passando uma semana no templo.  Como vocês sabem da minha última post (alguns meses atrás), Nana tinha piorado de saúde no final de 2017.  Desde então, ela tinha ficado mais forte, estava melhorando.  Neste dia, portanto, recebi uma ligação de meus pais me informando que Nana tinha falecido aquela manhã.

As I have been reflecting over the last few days, these situations are similar.  Both passings were expected, and yet unexpected at that moment.  And for both, I was in the best possible place I could be.  What a blessing!

Enquanto tenho refletido nos últimos dias, vejo que essas situações se parecem.  Ambos os falecimentos foram esperados, mas não naquele momento.  E para os 2, eu estava no melhor lugar que eu podia estar.  Que bênção!

When I heard the news about Uncle Eddie as a young missionary, I cried.  We ate ice cream and brownies that day.  I studied a bit about what happens after death, and took comfort in my knowledge of the Plan of Salvation- I would one day be together with all my family members again.  Although sad, as a normal human would be, I knew I was going to be okay.  I did call home, mostly to see how my family was doing with this turn of events.  They too were upset, but they were okay too.

Quando soube de Uncle Eddie como uma jovem missionária, eu chorei.  Tomamos sorvete e comemos brownie naquele dia.  Estudei bastante sobre o que acontece após a morte, e encontrei conforto no meu conhecimento do Plano de Salvação- um dia eu estaria com toda minha família novamente.  Apesar de triste, como um ser humano normal ficaria, eu sabia que eu ficaria bem.  Eu liguei para casa, mais para saber como minha família estava.  Eles também estavam triste, mas também ficariam bem.

Last week when I heard about Nana, I cried again.  A lot. But the next day I was able to spend some time in the temple, and reflect upon everything I have learned up to this point in my life.  Death is not the end.  Nana was reunited with her parents, and many others who passed on before her…and even some she had always wanted to meet.  She was okay; I am okay.  

Semana passada quando eu soube de Nana, eu chorei novamente.  Bastante.  Mas no próximo dia, eu tive o privilégio de passar um tempo no templo, refletindo em tudo que tenho aprendido na minha vida até agora.  A morte não é o fim.  Nana foi reunida com os pais dela, e muitos outros que faleceram antes dela….e até algumas pessoas que ela sempre queria conhecer.  Ela está bem; eu estou bem.

I can’t put into words all the feelings and emotions I’ve had the past few days, and 8 years ago too, but I can say one thing that I hope touches somebody reading this:  I KNOW, without the smallest doubt, that families are meant to be together forever.  PLEASE learn about this, and PLEASE find hope in Heavenly Father’s plan.

Não posso colocar em palavras todos os sentimentos e emoções que venho sentindo nesses últimos dias, e 8 anos atrás também, mas eu posso dizer uma coisa que eu espero que toque alguém lendo isso:  Eu SEI, sem dúvida nenhuma, que as famílias foram feitas para ser eternas.  POR FAVOR, aprender sobre isso, e POR FAVOR, encontre esperança no plano do Pai Celestial.

me with Uncle Eddie and Aunt Tracy, back in July 2007

Nana, clearly overjoyed at the whole family being together for Christmas 2004

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly of Long Distance

Only I'm going to change the order of that, and leave "The Good" for last!

The Bad

Long-distance relationships are hard.  That's as simple as it gets.  There are a lot of difficult parts to it, first and foremost being the distance! 

Husband and I were blessed to be able to talk via Skype at least.  We didn't have Whatsapp yet, but we did have Skype and Google Hangouts.  We were able to video chat pretty frequently.  Nearly every day, in normal times.  Sometimes it was not as frequent, due to time differences, vacations, work, classes, etc.  But overall, we video chatted nearly every day.  And even with that, it was hard.  I can't imagine how it was for my parents when they did it, many years ago, relying only on letters!

What's bad about it?  Sure, with video chatting you can see each other's faces, but still a lot of body language is lost.  You never really realize just how important body language is until you don't have it to rely on.  A lot of unnecessary "discussions" can be avoided through it; without it, a lot of misinterpretations and misunderstandings happen.

Long distance is tough in that there isn't always constant communication.  Since your schedules aren't in sync, because of being so far apart, you have to really make time to see each other.  Most of the time, Husband was 3 or 4 hours ahead of me...which meant we talked late at night his time, or I took my afternoons to talk to him, and then stayed up late to finish homework.  Lots of sacrifices come with long-distance relationships, but I wouldn't always classify that as "bad".

The Ugly

The ugly can be summed up in one word: disagreements.  Fights.  Arguments. Whatever.  And those are not easy to resolve with thousands of miles between you.  And sometimes you just have to wait until you can talk to each other again, and that waiting can be agony.  Yeah, every couple has their moments, but long distance makes it harder than it needs to be.  We had our fair share of disagreements, and those were hard days for both of us.  

There are also times that one or both of you thinks about calling it quits.  You wonder if it's really worth it.  THOSE are the hardest, ugliest times of all.

The tears.  There are lots of tears involved in a long-distance relationship, whether they are related to fights, second-guessing, or just missing each other and being sad because of the distance.  

The Good

Even with all the drawbacks, there are a LOT of good parts about a long-distance relationship.  Because of the physical distance, you can reduce the emotional distance.  It may sound far-fetched, but let me explain.  When literally all you have is conversation, you talk about everything and anything.  You learn how to not run out of things to talk about.  You learn to really care about the answer to "how was your day?" and really listen to answers.  You learn to communicate on whole new levels.  Because you can't hug when you make up after an argument, you learn how to communicate your feelings to the other person.  You learn to open up about what you feel, what you think, what you hope and dream.  You share every part of your mind with each other.  You tell stories about your past.  You learn about each other's habits, even though you are not together.  

So much so that when Husband and I got married (finally!), there were no surprises.  I had heard a lot about the adjustment period at the beginning of a marriage, of living together and adjusting to each other's habits.  Well, to be honest, I am still waiting for that to start.  I had no surprises whatsoever, and the same goes for Husband.  We already knew how to deal with each other when we didn't get along.  He already knew I am minorly OCD about tidiness (still working on that!).  I already knew he hated washing dishes.  These small things that you think we wouldn't see, especially with the distance, we already knew about each other.  And that was a wonderful thing.  

No, we are not perfect communicators; we still have things to learn.  But all our time spent apart really helped in the way we talk to each other and are open with each other.  

Conclusion

What gives me the right to write about this as if I know something? Husband and I literally lived on opposite sides of the world for the whole 2 years we were together before we got married.  I envied my friends in long-distance relationships of just a few states, where they could see each other every couple months.  We saw each other once a year.  From the time we started dating until the day we got married, Husband and I had actually been physically together only 67 days.  We had been dating for 752 days.  So...not even 10% of our time together was spent in each other's presence!

Something both Husband and I have been saying for years is that part of what held us together was being apart.  It would've been awesome to have spent those two years together and not so far apart, yeah.  And at the same time, we learned so much by being apart.  No, I don't recommend long-distance as a solution to relationship problems.  What I am trying to say is that it could be beneficial to have some degree of distance in the beginning stages of a relationship, just to learn about communication, and about each other!  The physical side of any romantic relationship is awesome, and necessary, but sometimes that can take over, especially in the beginning, and the talking is forgotten.  And communication is one of the keys to hold a relationship together, so the earlier that is figured out, the better.




Só que eu vou deixar "o bom" para último!

O Ruim

Relacionamentos de longa-distância são difíceis.  É simples assim.  Existem várias partes difíceis, a primeira sendo a distância!

Husband e eu fomos abençoados em que podíamos nos falar pelo Skype, pelo menos.  Ainda não tinha WhatsApp, mas tínhamos Skype e Google Hangouts.  Deu para falarmos por vídeo com frequência.  Quase todos os dias, em tempos normais.  Às vezes não foi tão frequente, devido ao fuso horário, férias, trabalho, aulas, etc.  Mas em geral, falávamos por vídeo quase todos os dias.  E mesmo com isso, foi difícil.  Nem imagino como foi para meus pais quando eles fizeram isso, muitos anos atrás, dependendo só de cartas!

O que é ruim sobre essa fase de um relacionamento?  Mesmo com o vídeo, dá para ver o rosto um do outro, mas muita linguagem corporal é perdida.  Nunca se percebe a importância de linguagem corporal até não ter mais isso.  Muitas "discussões" desnecessárias podem ser evitadas com a linguagem corporal; sem ela, acontecem muitos desentendimentos e interpretações erradas.

A longa-distância é complicada em que nem sempre tem comunicação constante.  As pessoas têm que arrumar tempo uma pela outra, já que não estão no mesmo lugar e nem com os mesmos horários livres.  A maioria do tempo, Husband estava 3 ou 4 horas a minha frente (com fuso horário)....que significava que falávamos muito tarde para ele, ou então eu tirava minhas tardes para falar com ele e depois ficava até tarde de noite estudando.  Muitos sacrifícios vêm com relacionamentos de longa-distância, mas eu não diria que isso é "ruim".

O Feio

O feio pode ser resumido em uma palavra: desentendimentos.  Brigas.  Discussões.  Tanto faz.  E esses não são fáceis de resolver com milhares de quilômetros entre as 2 pessoas.  E às vezes tem que esperar até a próxima vez que dá para se falar, e essa espera pode ser agonia!  Sim, todo casal tem seus momentos, mas a distância faz isso mais difícil que tinha que ser.  Nós tínhamos bastante desentendimentos, e foram dias difíceis para nós 2.

Tem dias que um ou os dois pensa em desistir.  Fica se perguntando se realmente vale a pena.  AQUELES são os dias mais difíceis e feios de todos.

As lágrimas.  Tem muitas lágrimas envolvidas em um relacionamento a distância, sejam relacionadas a brigas, questionando se vale a pena, ou só saudades e tristeza por causa da distância.

O Bom

Mesmo com todas as desvantagens, tem MUITAS partes boas sobre um relacionamento a distância.  Por causa da distância física, pode-se reduzir a distância emocional.  Parece impossível, mas deixe-me explicar.  Quando literalmente tudo que vocês têm é a conversa, acabam-se falando sobre tudo, e qualquer assunto.  Aprende como não ficar sem assunto.  Aprende a realmente se importar com a resposta da pergunta "como foi seu dia?" e verdadeiramente escutar às respostas.  Aprende a comunicar-se em um nível mais profundo.  Porque não podem se abraçar depois de uma briga, aprende a comunicar seus sentimentos para a outra pessoa.  Aprende a se abrir sobre o que sente, o que pensa, o que espera e sonha.  Acaba compartilhando toda parte de sua mente.  Conta histórias sobre seu passado.  Aprende sobre os hábitos do outro, mesmo não estando juntos fisicamente.

Tanto que quando Husband e eu (finalmente!) nos casamos, não havia surpresas.  Eu tinha ouvido muito sobre o tempo que demora para acostumar no início do casamento, de morar juntos e acostumar-se com os hábitos um do outro.  Mas, para ser sincera, ainda estou esperando isso começar!  Eu não tinha surpresa nenhuma, e Husband diz a mesma coisa.  Já sabíamos como resolver quando não concordávamos.  Ele já sabia que gosto de tudo no seu lugarzinho (até demais....ainda estou tentando melhorar isso!).  Eu já sabia que ele não gosta de lavar louças.  Essas coisas pequenas, mesmo com a distância, já sabíamos um sobre o outro.  E foi uma coisa maravilhosa.

Não, ainda não somos perfeitos em comunicação; temos muitas coisas para aprender.  Mas todo nosso tempo separados ajudou na maneira que falamos um com o outro, e em nossa abertura um com o outro.

Conclusão

O que me dá o direito de escrever sobre isso como se eu soubesse alguma coisa?  Eu e Husband literalmente morava em lados opostos do mundo durante os 2 anos que estávamos juntos antes de casar.  Eu tinha inveja  das minhas amigas em relacionamentos a distância de apenas alguns estados, onde eles podiam se ver de 2 em 2 meses.  Nós nos vimos uma vez por ano.  Desde o tempo que começamos a namorar até o dia que casamos, Husband e eu tínhamos passado apenas 67 dias juntos.  Namoramos por 752 dias.  Então....nem 10% de nosso tempo juntos foi passado na presença um do outro!

Uma coisa que tanto Husband quanto eu tenhamos falado por alguns anos é que uma coisa que ajudou-nos a ficar juntos foi a distância no início do relacionamento.  Teria sido incrível ter passado esses 2 anos juntos, sim.  Mas ao mesmo tempo, aprendemos tanto pela distância.  Não, eu não recomendo a distância como a solução de problemas de relacionamento.  O que estou tentando dizer é que poderia ser beneficial ter um pouco de distância no início de um relacionamento, só para aprender sobre comunicação, e um ao outro.  O lado físico de um relacionamento romântico é ótimo, e necessário, mas às vezes pode tomar conta, principalmente no início, e a conversa é esquecida.  E comunicação é uma das chaves que segura um relacionamento, então quanto mais cedo é entendido, melhor.  

We got way too familiar with the airport...

The Greatest Love Story I've Ever Heard (part 4...getting married!!)

Continued from parts 1 (how we met), 2 (the real beginning), and 3 (visa stuff....and waiting)


Our first plan was actually to get married in the States.  But when we started looking into the fiancé visa, we gave up on that idea.  There was no way we could afford all that.  So we decided to get married in Brazil, where I wouldn't have to get a new visa.  I could get married on my tourist visa (totally legally, no questions asked), and then change my visa to a permanent one after the wedding. 

The Paperwork

In the end of 2013, we looking into all the paperwork necessary for that.  I would need a ton of paperwork, documents, etc, all authenticated by the Brazilian Consulate in the States and then translated by an official translator here in Brazil.  It was a lot of work, but still WAY less than it would have been had we gotten married in the USA.  So I got all my paperwork together.  My parents helped me, since I was still off in Utah finishing up school (I wouldn't finish until mid-June, and then I had a ticket to move to Brazil for July 4), and I was working through the Boston Consulate.  Over Christmas break I was able to get a bunch of it done, running around the state like a crazy person.  Anyway, a few months before the wedding, we sent it all down to Best Friend, so that he'd have plenty of time to get it translated and then start the process to get a marriage license.  I even wrote a letter authorizing his mom to stand in and sign for me to start the process.  Well, the first batch got to him.  The second one never made it...

When I got back to my parents' house for a couple weeks after finishing college, I ran around like a crazy person again to get the half of the paperwork (AGAIN) that hadn't made it down to Best Friend yet.  I would just bring it with me and we'd start the marriage license process as soon as I got here.  He had already gotten a translator for the other half of the paperwork, and fortunately she was very willing to work with us.  She had me scan and email her the rest of the paperwork, and she translated it.  When we picked it up, we just showed her the originals so she could sign off on it.  We should have known that this was the beginning of an INSANE month before our wedding!

Our wedding date was set for July 24.  About a month before that, Best Friend signed a contract to rent our house, where I'd live by myself before our wedding.  He had ordered some of our furniture; the rest we'd buy together when I got there.  I left the States on July 4 (Happy Independence Day!), arriving here the next day.  It was a Saturday when I got here, so there wasn't much we could do for the paperwork until Monday.  On the way back from the airport, though, we stopped at the party planner's house and just went over all the details.  It was all fine by me....like I said before, we are simple people and didn't want a lot of extravagance.  It was going to be a relatively small wedding.  I moved into our house...we had a bed, a wardrobe, a stove, kitchen cabinets, and a kitchen table and chairs. That's it!  Over the next couple weeks we got the rest of what we needed...couch, fridge, food, cleaning supplies, etc.  We also moved Best Friend's stuff from his parents' house to ours over the next few weeks.

Monday we picked up our translated paperwork, and Tuesday (July 8) we went to city hall to get the marriage license.  That ended up being an all-day process.  Best Friend had a very good boss at the time and was willing to work with him coming and going all day, because he had to sign different parts.  I still had no idea what was going on, as I'd never really dealt with any of this type of stuff in Brazil.  I didn't realize it would be so complicated.  Anyway, there was one major complication: It would take AT LEAST 30 days to get our marriage license.  We had two weeks.  We told the ladies at city hall (who were EXTREMELY helpful, so much so that we still go see them just to say hi!) that our wedding was planned for the 24th, and we'd be leaving town the next day and couldn't change the wedding date.  They offered several suggestions, none of which would be conducive to our standards, which we also explained.  They were very understanding and in the end told us that if we knew someone who knew someone who knew someone, we could probably get the license in 15 days.  

I didn't know ANYONE, of course, being new in town.  Fortunately for us, Best Friend's mom knows everyone!  While Best Friend went back to work for a bit, she and I went across town to visit a lawyer friend.  We explained the situation to him, and he was more than willing to help.  He even knew the right person, and said he'd talk to him the next day!  So the next few days were kind of crazy.  We found an error on the announcement and had to return to city hall to fix that (it had my father as being Brazilian!).  Our lawyer friend talked to his connections and got everything squared away so that we'd get the license in time.  But that doesn't mean we weren't still worried about it!

Over the next couple weeks leading up to the wedding, we scrambled to deliver invitations, get our house in order and Best Friend's stuff moved in.  My mom was able to come down for the wedding, which was awesome!  She got here two days beforehand, so we were able to show her around town a little bit, but mostly she ended up being the seamstress to fix all the dress problems that a few family members had!  She didn't mind, though; my mom is awesome. 

The Wedding

July 24, 2014 was a crazy awesome day.  Best Friend's mother picked up our marriage license just a couple hours before the wedding.  His dad picked up one of his best friends from the airport just a few hours before the wedding.  Mom and I were mostly just at home finishing up some sewing details.  And I didn't really have much to do.  So I just hung out.  And packed for Recife and Fortaleza.


Before continuing, let me explain something.  In our Church, we believe that marriages and families can be forever....we don't believe that the limit is "til death do us part".  In order for a marriage to be eternal, it must be realized in one of our Temples, by someone who has authority from God to do so.  In the USA, this Temple marriage is counted as the civil marriage.  In Brazil, the civil marriage is separate, so we had to get married civilly before we could be married (sealed) in the Temple the next day.

I was scheduled to get my hair and makeup done at 4pm, to be ready for our wedding at 7pm.  I am a punctual person, and had made it very clear that I didn't want to be late to my own wedding, even if that was the "tradition".  Things don't always go according to plan, though..........

When I arrived at 4pm, there were still a few people ahead of me to be done.  So I had to wait.  Fortunately for everybody, myself included, I was NOT anxious or nervous or anything of the sort.  I just wanted to be on time, and I saw that slipping away, so I was annoyed for a moment....until I just let it go.  Just go with it, right?


In the end, I arrived at the venue just before 9pm.  !!!!!!!!!!!!! Our wedding began just a few minutes later.  I found out later that Best Friend had arrived just a few minutes before me, so that's a relief.  He was apparently a nervous wreck, too. ;)


The ceremony was wonderful, magical, unforgettable.  It was better than I had always dreamed.  Because my dad couldn't be there, my wonderful mom walked me down the aisle, which is something special that I will never forget.  

The wedding was beautiful.  It was in the same place we had our reception, so as soon as the ceremony was over, we got to talk to everyone, dance, eat, eat cake, and just enjoy being together and with everyone who was there.  We had about 75 people present, and it was perfect.  Oh, and WE GOT MARRIED!! 

Everything finally wrapped up around 1am.  Our wedding planner did everything, so we had no worries there.  We just helped with cleanup and then headed back to our house.

The Wedding Night (don't worry, it's G-rated)

We got back to our house with my mom around 1:30am or so.  Mom hung out on the couch and snoozed, and we hung out on the living room floor and opened presents.  It was pointless to sleep; we'd be going to the airport in less than 2 hours.  HUSBAND (!!!!!!) went back to his parents' house to finish packing up a couple things, during which time I took a shower and washed out the gallon of hairspray from my hair.  There was so much hairspray, I'm pretty sure I could've gone weeks without washing my hair and no one would notice, because it would be exactly the same as it was at the wedding.  Anyway, the taxi came to get us around 3am, and Mom and Husband and I headed to the airport.  Mom had a flight to Recife earlier than ours.  Husband's parents got there a couple hours later, and we were all on the same flight to Recife.  We found Mom there, perfectly content in the airport, waiting for us.  Turns out, she'd bumped into a few American missionaries there, so she had people to talk to while she waited!

The Sealing

We all left for the Temple and had most of the day to rest or do whatever we wanted.  Our sealing ceremony wasn't until 7pm.  I tried to sleep, and even though I was exhausted (it was now Friday, and I hadn't slept since Wednesday night), I couldn't get to sleep.  I was too excited.  Husband and I walked around the gardens a bit, just talking and enjoying our time together.  

The sealing was wonderful.  I can't even put it into words.  If the civil ceremony the day before was amazing, the sealing was 100 times better.  It is an indescribably good feeling knowing that we were going to be together FOREVER, not just for this life on earth.  This truly was the beginning of a wonderful journey together. 

The next day, we walked around and took some pictures in the garden.  Husband's parents had to head back home, so we spent the rest of the day with Mom and some friends around Recife, before Husband and I left for our honeymoon in Fortaleza. 

We got to spend a week in Fortaleza, which we learned is an absolutely beautiful city!  We chose Fortaleza for our honeymoon because it was a city neither of us had been to, and it just sounded like fun!  So why not??  We got to see some of the beautiful beaches, enjoy the boardwalk each evening, dodge time-share-package-vendors by telling them (in English) that we didn't speak Portuguese, go sailing on a schooner, and just relax before starting our life together in the real world.  We definitely want to go back some day!

Obviously we had to check out some local geology (I had read about it beforehand, but never thought we'd actually get to see it!!)

Watching the schooners at sunset The end of the beginning... And that, my friends, is the beginning of the Greatest Love Story I've Ever Heard.  I a still living this greatest love story.  These first three years of marriage have been absolutely amazing, more wonderful than I could have ever imagined or dreamed.  In telling this story, I have realized that I lack the words and creativity to truly express everything we have been through and everything I think and feel, but there will be future posts to expound on some parts (the long-distance part, and the visa stuff, specifically) of this story that I had to leave out for now.  Stay tuned for more! Oh, and a funny note.  Remember that lost paperwork?  We got it finally when we returned fro our honeymoon!

The Greatest Love Story I've Ever Heard (part 3....visa stuff and waiting)

Continued from parts 1 (how we met) and 2 (the real beginning).

This has been a hard post for me to write (hence the time gap between this and the previous post) because of all the different directions I could go with it.  But I decided to just tell the story, and I'll save my commentary for later posts.

After returning home in July 2012, I went back to school for fall semester.  We talked on Skype pretty much every day, which was not easy, because of the time difference, plus all the difficulties that come with a long-distance relationship (more commentary on this here)....and ours was long-distance with epic proportions.

Towards the end of my fall semester, Best Friend set up an appointment to get his visa to come up and spend Christmas with my family.  I bought my ticket home, talking my way into taking my finals before finals week actually started, so I could get an extra week at home for Christmas break.  Yeah, I totally pulled the Brazilian boyfriend card, and it worked like a charm!

Best Friend's appointment at the American Consulate was for the end of November.  Imagine how anxious I was all day...especially when I got absolutely no news until much later in the day.  Well, when he got there, with all his paperwork, documents, passport, photos, etc., he still had to wait in line, despite having an appointment.  The lady who attended him was less than thrilled to be working, and treated him like dirt.  Best Friend spent 3 minutes with the lady interrogating him.  His visa was then denied, with no explanation whatsoever.    At the time, it felt like the end of the world, because it meant we wouldn't see each other again until 6 months later.  We explored the possibility of me coming to visit over Christmas but it ended up just not being possible.  After his awful experience at the Consulate, Best Friend told me he wasn't going to try the visa again.

So we continued with our long-distance, Skype-based relationship.  In May 2013, we finally saw each other again...after 11 months.  11 LONG months.  Long-distance has its ups and downs, and it felt like ours were REALLY HIGH HIGHS and REALLY LOW LOWS.  Sometimes we were on cloud nine, sometimes we felt like we couldn't do it anymore.

In May 2013, Best Friend and I met up at the Temple in Recife, Brazil.

 The day we got there was the day Best Friend asked me to marry him!  He didn't do anything huge, which is just perfect for me.  His proposal was simple, private, and better than I could have ever imagined.  Even though we knew we were going to get married and I knew he was going to ask me, I had no idea when or how, so I was still surprised!

In Brazil, ring culture is a little different than in the USA.  Here, when two people are engaged to each other, they wear a gold band on their right hand ring finger.  When they get married, they either move that same band to the left hand, or put a new gold band on the left hand.  Either way, I think it's awesome because it shows that BOTH of them are engaged, not just the woman.

I spent the next month or so in Bahia with Best Friend and his family again.  We even got to spend Brazilian Valentine's Day together, which was the day before I left to come home.  Before that, though, we met up with a friend in Salvador and got to be tourists for the day.

It was the first time I had been to Salvador, other than in the airport!

I left to go back and finish my last year of college in June 2013.  We didn't have a definite plan for when we'd see each other again, though we knew we'd be getting married about a year from then.  We talked about me coming down again at Christmas.

As fall semester dragged on, Best Friend decided that he was going to try for the visa again.  This time, though, he didn't tell me until about a week beforehand.  We thought for sure he'd get it this time.  He had more stability in his life.  He went to the Consulate in São Paulo; he refused to go back to the one in Recife after how he was treated there.  I don't blame him. 

He was treated much better in São Paulo.  The guy interviewing him spent about 10 minutes with him, interviewed him completely in English, made it seem like things were going great.  Then out of nowhere at the end, Best Friend's visa was denied.  Again.  With no explanation.  Again.  With the exchange rate the way it was at the time, and my semesters, I ended up not even being able to come down for Christmas.  So we went back to waiting.  And once again, the long-distance thing was wonderful and awful, all at once.  We had a wedding to plan...while being thousands of miles and a few time zones apart.  But we managed to do it.  I have to give Best Friend a LOT of credit...I know there are a lot of guys out there who are less involved in planning their wedding than their fiancées are, but in our case, Best Friend did a LOT more than I did!

13 months after we'd last seen each other, we were reunited....and that's the next post!

The Greatest Love Story I've Ever Heard (part 2....the real beginning)

After I arrived home from the mission, I just waited and hoped.

Fortunately, I didn't have to wait long, because Best Friend emailed me the next chance he could.  Summarizing the next 10 months, we exchanged emails and letters (letters were more me than him...I had more time, not being a missionary anymore!  Plus his letters never really made it to me....they are STILL lost in the mail!).  About halfway through those 10 months, it was cheap airplane ticket season, so I had to decide if I was really going to see him when he finished his mission or not.

It was kind of like standing on the edge of a cliff, not knowing if I'd make it down okay or not.  Well, I jumped.  We hadn't said anything too specific in all our letters/emails, but it was pretty obvious that we wanted to pursue this past just a friendship.

Best Friend got home from his mission at the end of June, 2012.  10 days later, I was at the airport, and he and his parents were there to pick me up.  Well, almost.  After I got my bags, I just kind of sat and waited for a little while.  You know when you are so nervous for something, you are literally trembling?  That was me.  I was in the heat of BAHIA, Brazil, and shivering.  It felt like I waited an eternity for them to show up.  I'd had months to wonder how that first non-missionary moment would be, and had imagined probably 1500 different ways it could go.

When Best Friend did show up, nothing went according to a single one of those 1500 ways I had imagined.  IT WAS MAGICAL!  Better than I could have dreamt up!

I spent the next 17 days in BAHIA with Best Friend and his family; I stayed at his sisters' house, so I got to know them and their kids pretty well.  We had fun getting to know each other in real life, not in a mission setting.  We were back to being normal people, living normal lives, no longer missionaries.  That's always an adjustment.  We never did anything extravagant...we were both broke (still are! haha), and we were in a small middle-of-nowhere town that didn't have a lot of options or places to go.  More importantly than that, though, we are both simple people and were just happy to be together.  After spending 2 1/2 weeks together, I had return to the USA.  I still had 2 years to finish at college. We decided that we would see each other at Christmas.  Best Friend would get a tourist visa and then spend Christmas with my family up in the northern hemisphere.  It was a good plan.

And yet, saying goodby that dreadful day in the airport was one of the hardest things I'd had to do.  I'm not sure how long I cried on the airplane home....

(trust me, this story gets more interesting in the next part)