Death gives rise to hope.

A morte leva à esperança.

On June 1, 2010, I was a missionary in São Paulo.  My uncle had had cancer for a while, but in all the news I’d received from home, things were looking up.  He was doing better.  On this day, however, my mission president called me and informed me that Uncle Eddie had passed away that morning.  He gave me the option of calling home if I wanted to (missionaries generally only call home on Mothers’ Day and Christmas).  

Dia 1 de junho de 2010, eu era uma missionária em São Paulo.  Meu tio tinha cancer durante um tempo, mas em todas as notícias que eu estava recebendo de minha família, ele estava bem.  Neste dia, portanto, meu presidente de missão me ligou e me informou que Uncle Eddie tinha falecido aquela manhã.  Ele me deu a opção de ligar para casa se eu quisesse (geralmente os missionários só ligam para casa no Dia das Mães e no Natal).

On May 24, 2018, I was in Recife spending a week at the temple there. As you all know from my last post (a few months ago), Nana had taken a turn for the worse at the end of 2017.  Since then, however, she’d gotten stronger, and had made some improvements. On this day, however, I got a phone call from my parents informing me that Nana had passed away that morning.

No dia 24 de maio de 2018, eu estava em Recife passando uma semana no templo.  Como vocês sabem da minha última post (alguns meses atrás), Nana tinha piorado de saúde no final de 2017.  Desde então, ela tinha ficado mais forte, estava melhorando.  Neste dia, portanto, recebi uma ligação de meus pais me informando que Nana tinha falecido aquela manhã.

As I have been reflecting over the last few days, these situations are similar.  Both passings were expected, and yet unexpected at that moment.  And for both, I was in the best possible place I could be.  What a blessing!

Enquanto tenho refletido nos últimos dias, vejo que essas situações se parecem.  Ambos os falecimentos foram esperados, mas não naquele momento.  E para os 2, eu estava no melhor lugar que eu podia estar.  Que bênção!

When I heard the news about Uncle Eddie as a young missionary, I cried.  We ate ice cream and brownies that day.  I studied a bit about what happens after death, and took comfort in my knowledge of the Plan of Salvation- I would one day be together with all my family members again.  Although sad, as a normal human would be, I knew I was going to be okay.  I did call home, mostly to see how my family was doing with this turn of events.  They too were upset, but they were okay too.

Quando soube de Uncle Eddie como uma jovem missionária, eu chorei.  Tomamos sorvete e comemos brownie naquele dia.  Estudei bastante sobre o que acontece após a morte, e encontrei conforto no meu conhecimento do Plano de Salvação- um dia eu estaria com toda minha família novamente.  Apesar de triste, como um ser humano normal ficaria, eu sabia que eu ficaria bem.  Eu liguei para casa, mais para saber como minha família estava.  Eles também estavam triste, mas também ficariam bem.

Last week when I heard about Nana, I cried again.  A lot. But the next day I was able to spend some time in the temple, and reflect upon everything I have learned up to this point in my life.  Death is not the end.  Nana was reunited with her parents, and many others who passed on before her…and even some she had always wanted to meet.  She was okay; I am okay.  

Semana passada quando eu soube de Nana, eu chorei novamente.  Bastante.  Mas no próximo dia, eu tive o privilégio de passar um tempo no templo, refletindo em tudo que tenho aprendido na minha vida até agora.  A morte não é o fim.  Nana foi reunida com os pais dela, e muitos outros que faleceram antes dela….e até algumas pessoas que ela sempre queria conhecer.  Ela está bem; eu estou bem.

I can’t put into words all the feelings and emotions I’ve had the past few days, and 8 years ago too, but I can say one thing that I hope touches somebody reading this:  I KNOW, without the smallest doubt, that families are meant to be together forever.  PLEASE learn about this, and PLEASE find hope in Heavenly Father’s plan.

Não posso colocar em palavras todos os sentimentos e emoções que venho sentindo nesses últimos dias, e 8 anos atrás também, mas eu posso dizer uma coisa que eu espero que toque alguém lendo isso:  Eu SEI, sem dúvida nenhuma, que as famílias foram feitas para ser eternas.  POR FAVOR, aprender sobre isso, e POR FAVOR, encontre esperança no plano do Pai Celestial.

me with Uncle Eddie and Aunt Tracy, back in July 2007

Nana, clearly overjoyed at the whole family being together for Christmas 2004

Going to Church Used to Inspire Me

Hey Moms and Dads who go to Church (any church), did your spiritual life take a nosedive after becoming parents??

I found an old blog I used to write on, and I have been reading through my old posts the last few days.  I used to have some pretty interesting things to say!  Now it seems like my inspiring thoughts have ceased, and instead my head is filled with the latest mess to clean up off the floor (last night, Little L. projectile vomited the entire contents of her stomach riiiiiiiight as she was falling asleep.  This morning, she got ahold of and opened the cinnamon....and decided the floor was a good place to sprinkle half of it.  The kitchen still smells like cinnamon...).  Not just the messes, but the never-ending piles of laundry (I swear, there are more than 3 people living here), the dishes that are never done, and the frequent thought of "what's the point of even cleaning my house anymore?"

Yeah, not so inspiring.  Or uplifting.

Sundays are still great days; they are still different from the rest of the week.  I don't let myself get stressed out about the house, I don't think about work or laundry or cleaning the bathroom.  I do, however, miss coming home from Church feeling renewed and like I learned a ton in my 3 hours at Church.  Ever since Little L. became more active and less cooperative with sitting quietly on my lap, I had been secretly looking forward to when she would be 18 months old, so she could spend 2 hours in Nursery, and I could pay attention for those two hours!  Well, that came and went.  She doesn't stay in nursery by herself yet....she did one time, and it was great!  But I find I still have a hard time concentrating, even if I am not running around like a frazzled mom after a very active toddler.

I'm not sure what all I can do about it.  I have talked to other moms, and realized that I am not alone in my dilemma.  I even mentioned to one that sometimes I feel like...what's the point in even staying at church after the first hour??  She agreed that she feels that way sometimes, too.

What's the point?  Even if I don't feel like I am learning something every minute of the 3 hours I am at church, I have realized that I am setting an example.  I am teaching Little L. that Church is important.  That Church is a priority.  It's not even an option to go home and just play instead of trying to get through 3 hours of Church on Sunday mornings.  And that is more important than anything I need to learn right now.  Because my life is not about me anymore.  Now it is about teaching this small person about what is right and wrong.  And going to Church, learning about God, Jesus, and the Gospel....that is what we do on Sundays, because it is what God has asked of us.

I suppose that when I came to this realization, my personal study at home became more valuable to me, because it is where I need to learn things for me and my family, that maybe I don't get the chance to anymore (for now) on Sundays, because I am busy teaching my little daughter how to be a disciple of Christ.

At least, I hope that's the example I am setting for her.  I try, and I fail a lot, but I really try.  It melts my heart every time she sees a picture of Jesus, and gets all excited and says "JESUS!", then hugs the picture, as if hugging her very best friend.  And when she brings out our mini hymnbooks and begs for us to sing, and then sings along with us.  And when she recognizes a picture of the Temple and says "pempo".  I guess I'm doing something right.

Yeah, I guess my nosedive Sundays are really worth it.  My Little L. is learning, and that's more important than anything I could be learning right now.




Oi Mães e Pais que frequentam a igreja (qualquer igreja), a vida espiritual de vocês ficou difícil depois de serem pais?

Eu achei um blog velho que eu escrevia, e durante os últimos dias, tenho lido o que escrevi naquela época.  Eu tinha algumas coisas interessantes a dizer!  Agora parece que meus pensamentos inspiradores cessaram, e em vez deles, minha cabeça está cheia de pensamentos da bagunça mais recente para limpar (ontem à noite, Little L. vomitou tudo que estava na barriga no momento que ela ia dormir.  Hoje de manhã, ela conseguiu pegar a abrir a canela, e decidiu que o chão foi o lugar perfeito para derramar a metade.  A cozinha ainda cheira a canela!).  Não só as bagunças, mas as roupas que sempre precisam ser lavadas (juro que tem mais de 3 pessoas morando aqui), as louças que nunca acabam, e o pensamento frequente de "qual o propósito mesmo de limpar minha casa?"

Pois é, não tão inspirador.  

Os domingos ainda são dias ótimos; ainda são dias diferenciados.  Eu não me deixo estressar sobre a casa, não penso sobre trabalho, nem as roupas sujas, nem como preciso limpar o banheiro.   Mesmo assim, eu sinto falta de voltar da Igreja sentindo renovada e que aprendi um monte nas 3 horas na Igreja.  Desde que Little L. ficou mais ativa e aceitava menos ficar quietinha no meu colo, eu estava aguardando o dia que ela fizesse um ano e meio, para ela passar 2 horas na Primária (no berçário), para que eu pudesse prestar atenção durante aquelas 2 horas!  Aquele dia chegou, e até agora ela não fica sozinha no berçário (ainda).  Ela ficou, uma vez, e como foi bom!  Mas mesmo assim, eu vejo que não consigo me concentrar bem, mesmo se não estou correndo atrás de uma criancinha muito ativa.

Não sei o que posso fazer.  Já conversei com outras mães, e percebi que não estou sozinha com esse probleminha.  Eu até comentei para uma que às vezes eu sinto....qual o propósito de eu ficar depois da primeira hora??  Ela concordou que ela sente assim às vezes, também.

Qual o propósito?  Mesmo que EU não sinta que estou aprendendo algo durante cada minuto das 3 horas que estou na igreja, eu percebi que estou dando um exemplo.  Eu estou ensinando Little L. que a Igreja é importante.  Que a Igreja é uma prioridade.  Não é nem opção ir para casa e brincar, em vez de ficar as 3 horas na Igreja nos domingos.  E isso é mais importante que qualquer coisa que eu preciso aprender agora.  Porque minha vida não é mais sobre mim.  Agora é sobre ensinar essa pessoinha sobre o que é certo e errado.  E ir para Igreja, aprender sobre Deus, Jesus, e o Evangelho....isso é o que fazemos aos domingos, porque é isso que Deus pede de nós.

Eu acho que quando cheguei a essa conclusão, meu estudo pessoal em casa tornou-se mais valioso para mim, porque é onde preciso aprender as coisas para mim e minha família, que talvez eu não consiga mais aprender (por enquanto) aos domingos, porque estou ocupada ensinando minha filhinha como ser uma discípula de Cristo.

Pelo menos, espero que é esse o exemplo que estou dando para ela.  Eu me esforço, e eu falho muito, mas eu realmente tento.  Derrete meu coração todas as vezes que ela vê uma gravura de Jesus e fica animada dizendo "JESUS!", e abraça a gravura, como se estivesse abraçando seu melhor amigo.  E quando ela pega nossos hinários e pede para cantarmos, e então canta junto conosco.  E quando ela reconhece uma foto do Templo e diz "pempo".  Eu acho que estou fazendo alguma coisa certo.

Pois é, parece que meus domingos sem inspiração valem a pena.  Minha Little L. está aprendendo, e isso é mais importante do que qualquer coisa que eu poderia estar aprendendo agora. 

The Greatest Love Story I've Ever Heard (part 4...getting married!!)

Continued from parts 1 (how we met), 2 (the real beginning), and 3 (visa stuff....and waiting)


Our first plan was actually to get married in the States.  But when we started looking into the fiancé visa, we gave up on that idea.  There was no way we could afford all that.  So we decided to get married in Brazil, where I wouldn't have to get a new visa.  I could get married on my tourist visa (totally legally, no questions asked), and then change my visa to a permanent one after the wedding. 

The Paperwork

In the end of 2013, we looking into all the paperwork necessary for that.  I would need a ton of paperwork, documents, etc, all authenticated by the Brazilian Consulate in the States and then translated by an official translator here in Brazil.  It was a lot of work, but still WAY less than it would have been had we gotten married in the USA.  So I got all my paperwork together.  My parents helped me, since I was still off in Utah finishing up school (I wouldn't finish until mid-June, and then I had a ticket to move to Brazil for July 4), and I was working through the Boston Consulate.  Over Christmas break I was able to get a bunch of it done, running around the state like a crazy person.  Anyway, a few months before the wedding, we sent it all down to Best Friend, so that he'd have plenty of time to get it translated and then start the process to get a marriage license.  I even wrote a letter authorizing his mom to stand in and sign for me to start the process.  Well, the first batch got to him.  The second one never made it...

When I got back to my parents' house for a couple weeks after finishing college, I ran around like a crazy person again to get the half of the paperwork (AGAIN) that hadn't made it down to Best Friend yet.  I would just bring it with me and we'd start the marriage license process as soon as I got here.  He had already gotten a translator for the other half of the paperwork, and fortunately she was very willing to work with us.  She had me scan and email her the rest of the paperwork, and she translated it.  When we picked it up, we just showed her the originals so she could sign off on it.  We should have known that this was the beginning of an INSANE month before our wedding!

Our wedding date was set for July 24.  About a month before that, Best Friend signed a contract to rent our house, where I'd live by myself before our wedding.  He had ordered some of our furniture; the rest we'd buy together when I got there.  I left the States on July 4 (Happy Independence Day!), arriving here the next day.  It was a Saturday when I got here, so there wasn't much we could do for the paperwork until Monday.  On the way back from the airport, though, we stopped at the party planner's house and just went over all the details.  It was all fine by me....like I said before, we are simple people and didn't want a lot of extravagance.  It was going to be a relatively small wedding.  I moved into our house...we had a bed, a wardrobe, a stove, kitchen cabinets, and a kitchen table and chairs. That's it!  Over the next couple weeks we got the rest of what we needed...couch, fridge, food, cleaning supplies, etc.  We also moved Best Friend's stuff from his parents' house to ours over the next few weeks.

Monday we picked up our translated paperwork, and Tuesday (July 8) we went to city hall to get the marriage license.  That ended up being an all-day process.  Best Friend had a very good boss at the time and was willing to work with him coming and going all day, because he had to sign different parts.  I still had no idea what was going on, as I'd never really dealt with any of this type of stuff in Brazil.  I didn't realize it would be so complicated.  Anyway, there was one major complication: It would take AT LEAST 30 days to get our marriage license.  We had two weeks.  We told the ladies at city hall (who were EXTREMELY helpful, so much so that we still go see them just to say hi!) that our wedding was planned for the 24th, and we'd be leaving town the next day and couldn't change the wedding date.  They offered several suggestions, none of which would be conducive to our standards, which we also explained.  They were very understanding and in the end told us that if we knew someone who knew someone who knew someone, we could probably get the license in 15 days.  

I didn't know ANYONE, of course, being new in town.  Fortunately for us, Best Friend's mom knows everyone!  While Best Friend went back to work for a bit, she and I went across town to visit a lawyer friend.  We explained the situation to him, and he was more than willing to help.  He even knew the right person, and said he'd talk to him the next day!  So the next few days were kind of crazy.  We found an error on the announcement and had to return to city hall to fix that (it had my father as being Brazilian!).  Our lawyer friend talked to his connections and got everything squared away so that we'd get the license in time.  But that doesn't mean we weren't still worried about it!

Over the next couple weeks leading up to the wedding, we scrambled to deliver invitations, get our house in order and Best Friend's stuff moved in.  My mom was able to come down for the wedding, which was awesome!  She got here two days beforehand, so we were able to show her around town a little bit, but mostly she ended up being the seamstress to fix all the dress problems that a few family members had!  She didn't mind, though; my mom is awesome. 

The Wedding

July 24, 2014 was a crazy awesome day.  Best Friend's mother picked up our marriage license just a couple hours before the wedding.  His dad picked up one of his best friends from the airport just a few hours before the wedding.  Mom and I were mostly just at home finishing up some sewing details.  And I didn't really have much to do.  So I just hung out.  And packed for Recife and Fortaleza.


Before continuing, let me explain something.  In our Church, we believe that marriages and families can be forever....we don't believe that the limit is "til death do us part".  In order for a marriage to be eternal, it must be realized in one of our Temples, by someone who has authority from God to do so.  In the USA, this Temple marriage is counted as the civil marriage.  In Brazil, the civil marriage is separate, so we had to get married civilly before we could be married (sealed) in the Temple the next day.

I was scheduled to get my hair and makeup done at 4pm, to be ready for our wedding at 7pm.  I am a punctual person, and had made it very clear that I didn't want to be late to my own wedding, even if that was the "tradition".  Things don't always go according to plan, though..........

When I arrived at 4pm, there were still a few people ahead of me to be done.  So I had to wait.  Fortunately for everybody, myself included, I was NOT anxious or nervous or anything of the sort.  I just wanted to be on time, and I saw that slipping away, so I was annoyed for a moment....until I just let it go.  Just go with it, right?


In the end, I arrived at the venue just before 9pm.  !!!!!!!!!!!!! Our wedding began just a few minutes later.  I found out later that Best Friend had arrived just a few minutes before me, so that's a relief.  He was apparently a nervous wreck, too. ;)


The ceremony was wonderful, magical, unforgettable.  It was better than I had always dreamed.  Because my dad couldn't be there, my wonderful mom walked me down the aisle, which is something special that I will never forget.  

The wedding was beautiful.  It was in the same place we had our reception, so as soon as the ceremony was over, we got to talk to everyone, dance, eat, eat cake, and just enjoy being together and with everyone who was there.  We had about 75 people present, and it was perfect.  Oh, and WE GOT MARRIED!! 

Everything finally wrapped up around 1am.  Our wedding planner did everything, so we had no worries there.  We just helped with cleanup and then headed back to our house.

The Wedding Night (don't worry, it's G-rated)

We got back to our house with my mom around 1:30am or so.  Mom hung out on the couch and snoozed, and we hung out on the living room floor and opened presents.  It was pointless to sleep; we'd be going to the airport in less than 2 hours.  HUSBAND (!!!!!!) went back to his parents' house to finish packing up a couple things, during which time I took a shower and washed out the gallon of hairspray from my hair.  There was so much hairspray, I'm pretty sure I could've gone weeks without washing my hair and no one would notice, because it would be exactly the same as it was at the wedding.  Anyway, the taxi came to get us around 3am, and Mom and Husband and I headed to the airport.  Mom had a flight to Recife earlier than ours.  Husband's parents got there a couple hours later, and we were all on the same flight to Recife.  We found Mom there, perfectly content in the airport, waiting for us.  Turns out, she'd bumped into a few American missionaries there, so she had people to talk to while she waited!

The Sealing

We all left for the Temple and had most of the day to rest or do whatever we wanted.  Our sealing ceremony wasn't until 7pm.  I tried to sleep, and even though I was exhausted (it was now Friday, and I hadn't slept since Wednesday night), I couldn't get to sleep.  I was too excited.  Husband and I walked around the gardens a bit, just talking and enjoying our time together.  

The sealing was wonderful.  I can't even put it into words.  If the civil ceremony the day before was amazing, the sealing was 100 times better.  It is an indescribably good feeling knowing that we were going to be together FOREVER, not just for this life on earth.  This truly was the beginning of a wonderful journey together. 

The next day, we walked around and took some pictures in the garden.  Husband's parents had to head back home, so we spent the rest of the day with Mom and some friends around Recife, before Husband and I left for our honeymoon in Fortaleza. 

We got to spend a week in Fortaleza, which we learned is an absolutely beautiful city!  We chose Fortaleza for our honeymoon because it was a city neither of us had been to, and it just sounded like fun!  So why not??  We got to see some of the beautiful beaches, enjoy the boardwalk each evening, dodge time-share-package-vendors by telling them (in English) that we didn't speak Portuguese, go sailing on a schooner, and just relax before starting our life together in the real world.  We definitely want to go back some day!

Obviously we had to check out some local geology (I had read about it beforehand, but never thought we'd actually get to see it!!)

Watching the schooners at sunset The end of the beginning... And that, my friends, is the beginning of the Greatest Love Story I've Ever Heard.  I a still living this greatest love story.  These first three years of marriage have been absolutely amazing, more wonderful than I could have ever imagined or dreamed.  In telling this story, I have realized that I lack the words and creativity to truly express everything we have been through and everything I think and feel, but there will be future posts to expound on some parts (the long-distance part, and the visa stuff, specifically) of this story that I had to leave out for now.  Stay tuned for more! Oh, and a funny note.  Remember that lost paperwork?  We got it finally when we returned fro our honeymoon!