After my conversation with her, I got to thinking about Little L. and her sleep habits. Let me say right away that I don't believe in any specific methods, or that any of them even work all the time. Yeah, my experience is limited, but not so limited that I don't know that every child is different. Parents need to do their research, but they also need to adapt. I read several things that got me thinking, and what I ended up doing was nothing like any of them, in the end. One thing I DO believe in, though, is ROUTINE.
As a newborn, she was pretty easy, actually. Yeah, she woke up every two hours to eat, but that's normal and because it was routine, it was okay. My Mom was here for the first 4 weeks, so she helped us get Little L. into a regular sleeping pattern, so that she'd sleep all night (except for feedings). At that point, Little L. went to bed around 7:30 or 8pm, and slept until about 5:30, when she'd wake up and eat and lie in bed with me just being awake for a little while. Her first nap of the day was around 7, which is when I would eat, shower, etc. It was a nice morning routine.
This continued until Little L. was about 4 months old. Then...regression! Because Husband was gone a lot for work, I spent a lot of days and nights alone with Little L. She got into the habit of nursing herself to sleep around this time (before that, she'd sleep with anyone), which was actually fine with me. I worked at home anyway, so it was okay. Plus there is nothing like a holding a perfectly innocent, sweet, sleeping baby. <3
Skipping forward a few months, when Little L. was about 10 or 11 months old, we decided to try sleep training. We hadn't done it previously, because when Little L. was 5 months old, she and I spent 2 months visiting family in the USA...so it was pointless to me to try right before, or during that trip. She was sleeping okay when we got home, but it went downhill. I got to the point where I was just a big grump all the time, and pretty unhappy (also, another post for another day), and I didn't feel like I could handle it anymore, especially with being alone with her half the time. So Husband and I tried letting her cry it out. That night was awful. She cried for like 3 hours, slept for about 45 minutes, and then started over. IT. WAS. AWFUL! We gave up around 3am and I nursed her to sleep.
I had done a TON of research about sleep training, sleep methods, etc. We also talked to her pediatrician. She told us this was normal, and to start putting Little L. to bed later, to see if she'd wake up later in the morning. That failed too. As I mentioned earlier, Little L. has been an early riser from the start...that hasn't changed. She has always woken up around 5:30am, except for a short time where she kept creeping that back to 4:30 until we had to put a stop to it. When we followed the pediatrician's advice, Little L. slept less, waking still at the crack of dawn, and was grumpy ALL DAY. So we gave up on that too, and stuck to her 7pm bedtime.
Fast forward again, around 1 year old, she started sleeping through the night. That lasted about 2 or 3 months. Then, regression. Of course. She woke up several times each night, though this time I didn't nurse her back to sleep. We had already been down that road, and I wanted things to get better, not worse. So I would just go in and sit with her until she fell asleep again, in her crib, by herself. Sometimes rubbing her back, sometimes "shhh-ing", sometimes just being there was enough. I didn't try too hard, because this happened only a few weeks before our next trip back to the USA. She didn't need much of a push, though, and began sleeping again just fine. She was still relying on nursing to GET to sleep initially, though. And I still had no problem with it; I still work at home and have a pretty flexible schedule, and honestly...I love those special moments with her. She is growing up too fast, and I know this phase will end all too quickly too, so I want to enjoy it all while I can!
While in the USA, she slept surprisingly well for the first few weeks, even with changing schedules and time zones a bit. She even slept in because of all the traveling....there was one day where she went to bed around 6:30 and didn't wake up until after 8am, the next day! That was the best night's sleep I'd gotten in a long time!
Halfway through our trip, it began again. The waking up. And refusing to go back to sleep. My Mom was so helpful with getting over that bump in the road. She sat with Little L. when I just couldn't handle it anymore. It was during all this that Little L. just decided she could fall asleep on her own. Nothing in our bedtime routine changed; she just decided that after nursing and a cuddle, she was ready to fall asleep on her own in her crib. The first few days, I was amazed. I actually still am, a few months later. Since that first day she fell asleep on her own, she hasn't turned back! And that was about the same time she went back to sleeping all night. We did have to give her a push, though. Several long nights were spent listening to her cry in the middle of the night, checking on her, calming her down enough that she could fall back asleep, etc. But we got through it. And she doesn't hate me for letting her cry, which is a miracle to me!
So like I said from the start...I didn't follow any specific method. Yeah it was a long road, and I know that there will be more regressions, but it was good in the end to let her decide when she was ready to fall asleep on her own. I guess what I learned is that sleep training isn't always necessary. Little people learn to sleep on their own even without it.
Little L. still goes to bed at 7pm, and wakes up around 5:30am. Right now we are working on changing her wake-up time to somewhere around 6.... I guess I'll come back and report how we did that, when it happens! :) I am just glad she is sleeping better. She is happier, and I am too!
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